How to Get Someone to Confess

Vanessa Van Edwards is the author of  "Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101."  She stopped by to show us to get people to tell us more....or even confess. 

You'll find more great information from Vanessa on her Huffington Post blog and on her Science of People website.

How to get people to tell you more / How to get people to confess

When to Use these:
    -Kids
    -Spouses
    -Friends
    -Colleagues
    -The Real Estate Agent…..your lawyer….the shopkeeper….the car salesman

How to Get Someone to Tell You More:

Do Not Fill the Silence. Wait an extra beat after your subject finishes talking to make sure they do not have anything else to add. It is amazing how much liars will divulge in these moments.

Invade Their Personal Space: People get a bit rattled when you enter their personal space. Pull a chair closer, or take a step towards them. This makes them feel more transparent and will often encourage them to dig a little deeper.
    *This is good if you are trying to get someone to divulge secret information.

Nod Your Head: Head nodding is a universal sign of agreement. Research shows that people will talk three to four times more than usual if the listener nods their head as the speaker talks. You can also do this when someone finishes speaking to get them to say more.
-When someone finishes speaking, stroke your chin (the body language for thinking)
-and nod your head three times to get them to keep talking. If they have anything they are holding back, this can unlock their thoughts by making you seem interested and agreeable.

How to Get Someone to Confess:

Change the Telling:
This is one way to catch liars or get new information:
-Ask someone to draw their story
-Ask them to tell it backawards
-Ask them to start in the middle

Tell a Worse Version: Tell the subject a more damning version of what you think happened and see if they try to correct you. If they do, you get a confession. Let’s say you think your teenager took money out of your wallet. Start big by asking them if they took money and a credit card out of your wallet. Often times they will correct you and admit to the smaller crime.

Minimize the Significance: This is a classic technique used by TV show cops all the time. Empathize with the person you are speaking with and make the wrongdoing sound like no big deal. Often times the subject will latch on to this lenient line of thinking and either confess or give you a clue as to their thinking.

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