Rehab Your Relationship and Fight Less

Think happy couples don't fight?  They do-- about twice a week!   But if your squabbles are petty, than you need Laurie Puhn's help.  The lawyer-turned-couples-mediator has just written a new book, Fight Less, Love More, and joined us to reveal a few truths about love:

TRUTH #1: Happy Couples Don't Talk More, They Talk Better. When a couple with poor communication skills talks more, their problems get worse.

3 Tips to Talk Better

  • Pick the right battles - Learn to ask yourself one wise question and you'll know what to do every time.
  • Criticize with influence - Learn how to say what you do want, not what you don't want.
  • Avoid "dumb arguments" - Learn 5 types of common dumb arguments smart people have.

TRUTH #2: Happy Couples Don't Love Each Other Unconditionally; They Love Each Other with Conditions.  Happy couples uphold a daily communication routine that brings the values of appreciation, respect, compassion and intimacy to life.

3 Tips to Create a Loving Daily Communication Routine

  • Say "good morning" and "good night" every day - Our survey found that of those couples who forget to say goodnight, 70% thought about ending the relationship in the last year.
  • Broaden your "thank-you's"- Learn to frequently include 3 unique types of thank-you's in your conversations with your honey.
  • Compliment your mate for their character, not only their physical appearance- In our survey we asked people, "Would you rather your mate compliment you for being kind or good-looking?" 84% said "kind."

TRUTH #3: Happy Couples Fight Too.  The facts: Avoidance of arguments is a huge predictor of break-ups.  All couples fight 2 times a week, and nearly 2/3 of arguments are left unresolved. The key to being a happy couple is to learn how to have a good fight and
avoid a bad fight.

3 Tips to Have a Good Fight

  • Discover the difference between a good fight and a bad fight.
  • Learn the simple 5-minute "anticonflict" conversation
  • Replace "fight lines" with "love lines"

For more information, visit Laurie's website.


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