Popular convention has always said that people cheat because they are sexually attracted to someone else. Life Strategies Coach Diane Dennis says it isn’t sex, attraction, or boredom in the bedroom that makes couples stray.

Couples Must Have a Shared Passion
1. A passion or mission that is outside their every day lives
(artistic endeavor, philanthropic project, etc.)
2. An activity that gives them anticipation, excitement, and moves their creative juices.
3. The everyday activities of life aren’t enough to keep the fire going: Children grow up and leave, etc.

Surveys say that the more shared experiences that have the elements of
1. Surprise
2. Anticipation
3. Excitement
4. Passion
The more connected the couple feel, the more united they are, and the more satisfied they are with themselves as individuals (self-esteem)

A Partner can’t just jump on their spouses already established activity
1. Listening to this Mary might think she should join her husband in his model airplane hobby in the garage. This will not work for the following reasons:
a. Jack, Mary’s husband may be using this time as “me time” and in her efforts to stay close and “cheat proof” their marriage may be stifling him, crossing his boundaries, and creating DRAMA
   Boundary Issues
1. Ask permission to join your partner in “their” activity
2. Find an activity that you both come up with, not jumping on your partner’s passion
3. A partner, when he finds himself working shoulder to shoulder with someone on a project must set up clear boundaries around the relationship. Don’t turn shoulder to shoulder into cheek to cheek under the sheets.