Put the Fireworks Back in Your Marriage


Love and desire grow in opposite environments: love thrives on closeness, desire needs distance to retain sparks.  When married, it is essential to create space for desire.  Self-esteem Coach Laure Redmond, author of Feel Good Naked, joined us with her eight tips for keeping marriage hot:

  1. Inquire about your partner's feelings on the matter. Often you will find that they too want more fun, relaxing, connected time together, a gateway to more romantic experiences, leading to excellent opportunities for discovering new ways to keep your physical relationship exciting.  Good sex requires ongoing conversations about what turns each of you on, this means getting in touch with your own needs.
  2. Don't Verbally Over-share  When women constantly prioritize talking over physical closeness, they shut out men's attempts to communicate through sex.
  3. I feel fat.  The quickest way to feel better about yourself is to exercise regularly—and not just to get rid of love handles.  Physical activity increases feel-good chemicals in the brain, lowers stress and anxiety and boosts self-esteem. This, in turn, can lead to a healthier sexual appetite.
  4. Kissing 101  Be creative, kiss your partner's forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose and chin, before kissing your partner on the mouth.  If you don't like your partner's kissing style, tell them gently how you would like to be kissed. Better yet, show them.  Gently caress your partner's hands, neck, or back as you kiss, make it more than a mere meeting of the lips.
  5. Transitions Take Time  Especially for women, since we have to retrieve the woman from the mother.  By assuming a lackluster libido is a natural part of aging, women become less likely to do anything about it.  Instead, ask yourself what in your life is out of sync and start there.
  6. Open two "hot"mail email accounts for your relationship communication.  These emails are to solely focus on each others sensual selves, desires and fantasies.
  7. Skyrockets in Flight ~ Afternoon Delight  If you find yourself dragging through the day, then waiting until bedtime to have sex almost guarantees no nookie. Instead, choose a time when you’re more awake, such as in the morning or on the weekend after a nap.
  8. Take a Vacation.  Even couples with kids need time away without the children. If possible, try to find an exotic location with little or no contact with the things that remind you of your normal life. Even one night away without children can heighten romantic excitement. Whether you choose to take a road trip to a little bed and breakfast out of town; or seek out a long, luxurious cruise, changing your surroundings can do wonders for your physical relationship.


For more on improving your mind-body health, visit Laure's website.


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