Stop Keeping Score and Get the Help You Need

Executive Life Coach, Stephanie Somanchi, PhD had advice for women who are overwhelmed and keeping score.

Do you feel like everyone disappears when it is time to get the work done?  It isn’t your imagination ladies, research shows that on average women are spending more time on household chores than men.  Are you doing all the work and when others do lift a finger, they think you should drop to your knees in gratitude?  Then it is time to reset the score and look for a new winning strategy.

What is Holding You Back?

• Silent-Killer Point Systems
Get honest about your “point system” - tracking who is doing what and who owes whom.  These internal tally systems are a recipe for resentment and do not allow for clear, clean communication.

Example:  “I’m not letting him help and if he does I’m certainly not going to thank him for it!  He’ll think he gets points for it.  I’m not going to owe anybody and besides, he should be doing that anyway!”

What to Do?

• Ask for Help
If you are assuming others know what to do, you’re wrong.  Simply begin the conversation without accusations.  Letting your needs be known is powerful.

• Create Ownership
Define the job clearly and allow the person to feel responsible for it.  There is pride in ownership.

• Release Control
Stop the micromanagement!  Open yourself to a new way of getting the task done. 

• Praise
No one likes to be invisible.  When things get done, give praise lavishly.  Praise yourself also.  If you appreciate what you do, other’s will too.


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