Are You A Bossy Person?
By AM Northwest Staff
Today we met with life coach, Karen LaVoie, who spoke with us about bossy people and how you know you are bossy. Karen has a workshop coming up on April 26 at 1336 SW Falcon St, Portland, OR, 97219. To sign-up or for more information please call 503-312-0913 or please click here.
A bossy person does not have the respect of others.
Are you bossy? Here is a checklist.
- Do you tell people in a demanding way what to do?
- When you tell people what to do you are taking away their power to make choices. You are usurping power from them, stealing power…they are not giving you power, you are forcing them to give you power. So they do not respect you. At some point in time they will rebel!
- So what is the solution? Ask them. Yes, ask them to do what you desire them to do. Of course you might be thinking, "They might say NO". Then the person you are asking has to deal with the consequences and so do you. Please understand. We ALL have FREEDOM OF CHOICE and we ALL live with the consequences of our choices. Your choice might not be the right choice for them or it might be. We all get to learn from our so-called mistakes.
- It might take so time for the bossy person to earn the respect of those they have been bossing around. Those people might not trust them, like them, respect them or see them as a good person.
- A good leader, boss or person does not have to force people to do things…they learn to communicate in a manner that the person being asked to take action understands, knows the value and wants to. Should they choose not to they will also understand the consequences. Granted there are times when it is not possible…like on the battle field or an emergency situation. Ask any soldier why they follow a person on the battle field and they will tell you it is because they respect that person and trust them. Not because they FEAR them.
- Good leaders, bosses or people say please and thank you.
- Bossy people attempt in install fear, doubt and low self worth in other people , thus taking their power and giving their "self" a position of power over their so-called victim. A good person has "power" because people freely give them that power out of respect. So the next time you want someone to do something for you instead of bossing them, why not asked them with respect. Show RESPECT to that person. When you do they will feel good about their "self" and you have a better chance of getting a yes answer without the negative reactions.
- This process will take time. The reward is long term. When a person is bossy they get tired faster because it takes more energy and people resent them. Thus, no love is returning to them. Their health will eventually suffer! The bossy person is accountable for all the negative emotions they cause another person in their life. And because life is "cause and effect" the giver receives what they "put out". Yes, we live in a society that has usurped power from others for centuries. Does that make it OK? NO.
- We all know what it feels like to be bossed around by a parent, spouse, "boss" , stranger or friend, it does not feel good. And when you get right down to it, the person bossing might be right, but you rebel just because they are bossing! Had they only suggested or ask using the simple yet powerful words, "PLEASE and THANK YOU" you would have happily taken the action they requested.
- We innately know we are supposed to guard our energy-power …so we react defensively when a person attempts to steal it, usurp it or we feel angry or worthless when we give it away. We all know those people who have given their power away, who have let others beat them down. We wonder why they did not leave that situation or stand up for them self. Why? It did not happen in over night. They were beaten down over time…drained of their power until they are so weak some never recover without outside assistance.
Please, should you be a bossy person, stop crushing other people. Bossy people reap the consequences for their actions… you are stealing the gift that person had to share with mankind. The bossy person deprives all mankind of the joy and talents that person they "beat up", emotionally and mentally, had to offer.
Once again, the change will take time. The trade off is more than worth it! I thank everyone who chooses to make this change in their life and thus, making the world a MUCH BETTER place to live!Then you are a bossy person. You might be thinking, "I have to tell them what to do it is my "job"; I am their parent, their teacher, their spouse, partner and they just don’t know what is right for them on their own. I don’t know what they would be without me!""
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