How to Deal With the Bossy

By AM Northwest Staff

Do you have a bossy person in your life? Do you fight back? Clam up?

There are ways to work with super bossy people and we had life success coach Karen La Voie give us tips on how to deal with them.

How to Respond to a Bossy Person  

Are you in a working or personal relationship with a person who is bossy?   

First understand that when you fight a thing it fights you back! So to argue with that person will not resolve the situation. The best option is to defuse it.  How do you defuse a bossy person?  By not letting them get to you.

That is right.  When you let them get to you, you are giving them your power also known as your energy.  Let’s revisit the Laws of Life. What you put out you get back and more of it.  So when you fight with the bossy person they fight back even more!  By now you have probably already figured this out.


Attempted to understand the person. First asked your self, is it valid what the bossy person is telling you to do?  If it is, then do it and tell your EGO to be quite.  Your EGO loves to have conflict it is the only way if feels alive.  Perhaps the person is under a deadline at that is being passed on to you so empathize…giving them the benefit of the doubt. 

Now, you say it is not valid what the bossy person is saying.  Then there are options. Explain to them your position on what you are being told in a calm assertive manner and clear mind….that means free of all anger and frustration.   One must keep a level head otherwise, the bossy person wins.  Should this option not work…  

Asked the difficult person a lot of questions so you get very clear why they are so frustrated and taking it out on you.  Explain to them you want to be a part of the solution and are willing to work with them when you understand the full picture. 

You can stay in the relationship you are in and tell yourself that person does not deserve your energy; therefore, I will say calm and do what I am asked for the sake of my job, the relationship and myself worth. 

Make sure you are a good listener. We all know what it feels like when a person does not listen to us. It is frustrating.  Repeat back what they have told you so they feel reassured you will complete the tasked asked to do or errand or responsibility requested. 

The key factor to remember with bossy people is they are not happy with themselves.  The Laws of Life say give that person compassion.   Give them kindness every chance you get! YOU catch more flies with Honey!  And be happy you are a happy person and like your life.  You like who you are.  It is obviously that person does not when they are taking out their aggression on you by bossing you around. 

Do you respect yourself? When a person does not have good self-esteem you become a target for bossy people!  Perhaps you are surrounded by bossy people as a lesson to take charge of your low self-esteem issues.  

You can choose to move on. Pure and simple.  Make sure you are not part of the problem and running from your own issues and right into another job or relationship with the same type of people. 

Last but not least…avoid bossy people whenever possible.  Sometimes the EGO wants to tango with the bossy person for that QUICK FIX…check in with yourself.


Karen has a seminar coming up-

Beyond the Illusion:

  • April 26th, 9-5pm
  • 1336 SW Falcon St
  • Call 503-312-0913

For more information on Karen LaVoie and her seminars, you can head to her website.


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