To be loved
To be accepted
To have their needs met
To be safe and protected
Many times when kids say they have difficult dads it revolves around communicating or lack of it. Stereotypically speaking problems with parents are because of children not setting healthy boundaries because parents have violated personal space physically or emotionally
As the following statements are generalizations, the opposite can also be true.
Generally speaking difficult moms do: too much meddling, gossiping, show up unannounced, call too often, request things outside comfort zones.
speaking difficult moms do: too much meddling, gossiping, show up unannounced, call too often, request things outside comfort zones.
Generally kids who say their dads are difficult complain about them being:
kids who say their dads are difficult complain about them being:
Distant, Aloof, Non-Communicative, Non-Affectionate, Angry, Judgmental, Controlling, Blaming and Shaming
So, to get needs met with any of the above you need to:
Be clear and specific about your needs
Don’t confront dad, rather talk to him when you are doing something else together like golfing, fishing, working in the garden.
Don’t overcompensate (hug, kiss, hang on him)
Use conscious behaviors
Learn to develop a sense of self worth that isn’t dependent on others
If dad uses anger as his way to communicate:
Rather than saying: "You make me feel…………(blaming and not taking responsibility for your feelings)
If dad is judgmental or controlling ( and uses blame and shame):
If dad is distant or aloof:
Often it isn’t the dad that is the problem, it is our expectations. As the role of child, we don’t have control over the attitudes, actions and behaviors of our parents. The best thing we can do is accept, love unconditionally, set up healthy boundaries and find ways to get our needs met in a healthy way.
Diane is also holding a 6 Week Workshop titled, "Change the World--One Woman At A Time."
The goal is to: feed your soul and give back to others, set goals, make a plan of action, mission statement and end up with a plan to do one thing we have been putting off.
Contact Diane Dennis for more information on this event at 503-972-3441