Am I a Bad Person If I Put Myself First?

Whether it's getting in a work out or catching up with friends, women often feel tremendous guilt if they put themselves first. Life Coach Stephanie Somanchi explained why it's not only good for women but essential to their families to put themselves first.

The Rule of the Airlines – Put your oxygen mask on first before you help others.

My family will suffer…

Myth – If I put myself first, my kids and spouse will suffer and not get what they need.  They expect me to take care of all of their needs and to not worry about myself.  They need me to sacrifice in order to live a good life.

Fact – Your kids will grow up to do just as YOU do, not as you say.  The children will become mini-martyrs just like you!  You and your spouse can never be true partners if each person isn’t living to his/her best.  Coming to the relationship as a full-complete person sets the foundation for a solid relationship.

Nothing will get done…

Myth – There is so much to do in one day, there is no time to put myself on the list.  Work, PTA, laundry, cleaning the house, how could there possibility be space on the list for my needs.  If I put myself first on the list everything will fall apart.

Fact – There will always be more to do in one day than can be done.  If you wait for everything else to get done first, you will never spend time on yourself.  Taking time for yourself will recharge you instead of becoming burned-out. 

I will become conceited/stuck-up…

Myth – If I put myself first I will think I am better than everyone else and just sit around all day eating chocolate and watching soap operas.  I will become nasty and think that everyone else is less than me.

Fact – When you feel your best and have taken the time to invest in YOU, you become more compassionate and ready to do your best work.  When you feel your best, you don’t become mean – you actually become much more authentic.

People won’t like me anymore….

Myth – I will lose my friends and my family will become angry if I don’t do/give the way they are used to, if I put myself first.

Fact – There is some truth to this!  It will take some time for people to adjust to the new boundaries you have set.  People who were only in your life to use you will fall away, and you’ll be free to make and keep real friends and supporters.

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