Why do single Northwesterners find it hard to meet someone?

Four of the reasons are:

1.  Ineffective Communication – how a single person initially communicates on their first few interactions with another single person can determine if the meeting turns into a date.  Many single people, during an initial conversation, do not know how to articulate the values and attributes they seek in a potential partner and what they want in a partner to lead to a happy relationship.

Typically people ask about careers during a first conversation. Better questions to open the door to meaningful dialog are:

What are you most passionate about? What do you spend most of your time doing? What are some of your heart’s goals you want to reach? Share some of your biggest accomplishments? How have you positively impacted someone life? 

As a single person you should reflect on these types of questions and know the answer and how to effectively communicate your responses to these questions. Be effective at communicating what is important to you in a partner. What your values are. Be cautious, as first impressions are powerful and people make judgments quickly.

Be conscientious of how you come across to another single person. Be discriminative in what to discuss with a new person. Think of being on a job interview. To be considered as one of the final candidates, during the interview you must address why your skills and experience are a match for the company. Same with a potential partner. Be aware of how you sound and the topics you discuss. 

2.  The longer single people live, it can be easy to become “set” and even “stuck” in certain ways and habits. Be careful not to turn down an invitation for a new date, just because their habit patterns differ from the ones you are accustomed to. Be open-minded. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

3. How can you become a truly happy, loving person if you don’t deal with your “issues” that caused a relationship break up or a fear of committing to one? Allowing reflection time by yourself to understand, heal and grow from past experiences can help you become more aware and attract the partner who will be a healthy fit and bring more joy to your life. This is important when searching for a lifetime partner.

It is helpful during the recovery period from a breakup or divorce to have a few years in between your next serious relationship. Have a close friend be your support and confidant to share your inner personal challenges with and receive feedback. We are emotional humans. It’s part of who we are. We don’t come with a manual like our new cars do. The manual on how to be human is learning from your past mistakes or issues, going to counseling or support groups, read self help books, practice enhancing your communication skills.

4.  People have overwhelming, busy schedules. With modern technology we spend less time verbally interacting with other humans. Some single people don’t have the energy at the end of a busy day to meet a potential partner. They may be unsure of how to meet other singles. Learn how to be effective with modern day dating.

Solutions

* Get out and mingle, force yourself to step out of your comfort zone once and see what happens.
* Tapping into your heart is part of the successful solution. Strengthening and listening to your
    Inner Voice when you meet someone new and during the first 20 dates.
* Get away for 1 or 2 nights by yourself and take a journal to write in.
* Obtain counseling if there’s unhealed childhood or unresolved marriage issues.
* Write down your desired traits you want in a partner and look at the list periodically. Create a
   Vision Board with visual pictures of the relationship you want to attract.
* For divorced singles – the process of meeting someone and dating has changed substantially.
   Learn the most effective ways to meet other singles.

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