Misplaced Manipulation

Misplaced Manipulation:Own Yourself & Empower Others. Life Coach Stephanie Somanchi says that the only thing you can really are your own actions and reactions.  Trying to step outside of this boundary of control turns even the best of reasons into manipulation. She had the following advice:

Recognize it Hurts

Sometimes we see another person, who we often genuinely love and care about, making poor decisions.  The decisions may cause them pain, loss and limit their success.  It is important to admit that this is painful to see.  Bringing this disappointment to light gives perspective.

Avoid Well-Meaning Manipulation

The first reaction can be to save or rescue the individual from these destructive choices.  In truth, this kind of response is a form of manipulation.  It is important to respect others enough to recognize that they make their own choices, even if they don’t seem to be the “right” choices.  This doesn’t mean that we can’t offer good advice or choose not to support the behavior. 

Help vs. Rescue

Be careful that your actions are not geared towards the rescue of the person.  However, it is wonderful to offer help.  This may mean offering good advice or choosing not to support the behavior.  The bottom line is that help supports the other person in making good choices for herself, if she chooses to accept it. 

Allow for Failure

Failure offers opportunity.  By allowing a person to experience the consequences of his actions you allow the person to learn and grow.  Insulating others from failure actually ensures future failures, because the chance to learn and grow has been removed.


 

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