Dating Essentials

If you are divorced or widowed, take the necessary time before you dive into your search. Take some time off and focus on your personal development and healing.  It is important not to skip over healing and grieving steps after the loss of a serious relationship. Dating Coach Donna Dzwonkas had these dating essentials to help get you back in the game.

Keep your spirits up while you are seeking your partner.

Finding a mate is similar to finding a job.  If you have been searching for 1 year or longer, the tendency can be to get frustrated and give up or put the search on hold.  Yet you may be lonely and don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life.  Don’t give up.   Remain positive and loving.  Your frustration will show and it can be a turnoff.  Stay focused.  Take breaks from your search and don’t be too intense with your search. Keep your radar up as you can meet this person at any give time. Exercise, eat well, and take time for yourself.  Be grateful for what you have and your inner spirit will reflect this.  When you are not taking care of your mind or body, this can be visible to others.

Be a Good Conversationalist

Don’t delegate the conversation at the same time be sure to contribute to it.   Be an effective listener and talker.  If your social skills need help, seek help from a coach and improve how you relate to others.  Getting yourself a coach is one of the best things you can do for you.  Single people who are effective at communicating, relate easily to others and “connect”.  If you have ADD or ADHD you can benefit from having a professional help enhance your communication skills.

If you are shy, use a dating service professional to help you find a partner and coach you through the process.   It is harder to meet someone on your own if you are shy.

Forgiveness

This is vital to leading a happy life and finding a partner.  When you have ill feelings or are still mad at someone for something they said or did years ago, you hurt yourself both emotionally and physically. Learn to Forgive. 

It is a turnoff if you verbally talk about your “x” in a negative way on a regular basis. It’s ok to share some of it once you are in a serious relationship. 

Communicate Effectively

Initially when you first meet someone find out what type of relationship they are seeking.  What they want may not match your goals.  Rather than waste your time and develop feelings, ask what their long-term goals are as early as the 2nd or 3rd date.

When your relationship is progressing and you’re in an exclusive relationship, develop strong communication skills.  Touch base with one another and see how the progressing relationship is working for the other person.  Repeat back to the person what you heard them say when discussing relationships issues.

For recent ended relationship get feedback. Ask questions such as what went wrong; what did you need from me to have a harmonious relationship?  This feedback is helpful so you don’t repeat unsuccessful behavior patterns in your next relationship.   This requires you to push your EGO to the side and realize the importance of feedback. 

Be Honest about your age and weight

Especially when placing an online ad.  When your date meets you in person they will see you lied and they will end the meeting right away and not be interested in you.  You need to use a recent photo that is realistic.  Date within in your league. 
 

For more information on Donna click here.

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