"Discipline Me Right" author Mary Simmons

 Mary Simmons wrote "Discipline Me Right,: Tips from Teen for Parents" after five years of asking her senior English classes to write "10 Commandments for Parents."  Out of curiosity, she tallied the commandments and found a distinct list:
 
  1. Discipline Me With Respect
  2. Provide for me
  3. Allow Me Freedom
  4. Be a Role Model
  5. Be There
  6. Respect my Individuality
  7. Respect my Privacy
  8. Love Me
  9. Don't Embarass Me
  10. Have Reasonable Expectations
The Two most important things Mary Simmons thinks parents should know:

1. Kids want discipline (and a lot of them are not getting it).

  • Discipline is the #1 thing my students asked for in the 5 year survey -- but not just any discipline.
  •  Basically, there are two kinds of parents: unassertive/hostile (parents who yell, scream, manipulate, insult to get their needs met) and assertive/proactive parents (parents who know their role, control their reactions, take charge, have a plan).

2. Effective discipline has less to do with changing the kid and everything to do with changing our responses

  •  Because, as the parent you set the pace. Even if you're an ineffective parent, you set the pace, the kids fall in line:
  •  If you're a push-over, they'll push; if you're hostile, you'll get hostility back; if you're inconsistent and wishy-washy, they'll walk all over you.
  •  On the other hand, if you are consistent, firm, and respectful (through practice using the skills in this book), the kids will mirror your behavior. It's about parents deciding to change themselves from unassertive and hostile parents to parents who know their role, which is one of authority, consistency and respect. Unfortunately, we have too many parents abdicating this responsibility.

 Parent Creed:   "I cannot allow you to do anything that is not in your best interest - or mine."

 Remember:    It doesn't really matter what you do, as a parent, as long as you are consistent. "I am not going away, and these are the consequences."

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