Stop Lying to Yourself

Executive Life Coach Stephanie Somanchi, MBA, explained why keeping your word to others is not enough.
Self-Liar
When we make commitments and promises to ourselves that are not kept it erodes our sense of self-integrity and self-trust.  In the same way that we lose faith in those who don’t keep their word to us, we begin to see our own voice as a lie and treat it with the same disdain as people who don’t keep their word to us.   Example: You roll your eyes at yourself when you make promises of health, self-care, or development.  “Yeah, sure!”

Rebuilding Self-Trust
Rebuilding your sense of self-trust takes time and begins with a careful assessment about what receives your commitment.  By starting small and following through you can reform your inner-liar.  

1. Awareness
Simply being aware that your word matters changes the way you act towards yourself.

2. Start Small
Building trust takes time.  Start with a small promise and follow through.  Doing this consistently builds internal confidence that you will keep your word.
Example:  Take a ten minute walk.  Maybe you’ll do more, but by keeping the small commitment first you enhance your inner-integrity.

3. Be Careful What You Promise
Grand plans can easily fail.  Making self-promises that are dependent on other’s behaviors or that have an ambiguous time-line are ripe for undermining your ability to keep your word and do not enhance self-trust.
Example:  You can promise yourself that you will apply for the new job, but not that you will get it. 

4. Follow-Through!
Make keeping promises to yourself an even higher priority than keeping your word to others.

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