Texting is Talking




Texting IS Talking

By Didi Zahariades 

Understand what Texting is to a Teenager:  Texting is Talking. 

It is the main form of communication for the majority of teens.


-          Conversations are the same to teens whether they are in-person; phone or text.

-          A phone to a teen is a life-line to their friends and offers the ability to socialize with others.

-          Even with a group of friends; friends NOT with the group may be more important than those in-person.

-          Teens consistently share what their texts say with the present teens.  It is as good as being there.

-          Teens are able to talk to you and text simultaneously.



You don’t need to ‘Control’ but you do need to set ‘Expectations’

Teens hate being controlled, but they appreciate being treated like an adult.  Set Expectations for the family:  (including the adults)


1.      Meal time is for eating with those present; if you can’t invite a friend for dinner you can’t text at the table.

2.      Restaurant eating is for those invited.  If your friend isn’t invited, don’t text him/her.

3.      Bedtime is for sleeping.  Set expectations for when the phone is used/not used.

4.      The phone bill:  If possible, get it online.  Sit down at the computer with your teen and review.  Discuss the bill openly and be smart.  What time of day is your teen texting?  During school?  At 4am? 

5.      Recognize the phone bill is a parental tool.  If your teen is texting after 1am; are they also sneaking out?



Set Consequences when Expectations are not met:

Teens will cross the line and consequences – not punishments – set in advance will eliminate the need for screaming and negotiations.  Pre-set consequences minimize emotional outbursts and give control to the parents.

-          Keep consequences relative to behaviors

-          Set parameters.  For example:  don’t take a phone away indefinitely.  Teens stop caring.  Teens will often purchase a phone on their own if the time is too long. 

-          A teen with a phone is sort of like a teen with GPS.  You have a tool to reach them as much as they have a tool to reach a friend.



Learn to Text.


-          If you have a teen, this is a must.  Otherwise it is like your child speaking English and you being illiterate. 

-          Use this as a parenting tool. 

-          Your teen will respond to a text even if it’s a situation where he may not answer your phone call. 

-          Don’t accept that your teens phone was on silent or the battery died.  Your expectation is that their phone is working. 




Know what your teen is saying / texting:

-          Without becoming a detective, your teen should ‘just know’ that mom may pick up their phone whenever she wants.

-          Occasionally ask to use your teen’s phone. 

-          Discuss sexting with your teen.  They know what it is --- do you?

-          Discuss bulling with your teen.  It is common, but be open to a discussion without freaking out or over-reacting. 


How do you know when their texting is too much?

-          You can’t trust your instinct on this because it will tell you that you are being ignored; your teen isn’t listening, etc.

-          Pay attention to their grades, attitude, etc.  These are prominent guidelines to follow.   



Regardless, always tell your teen how much you love them, no matter what the circumstances.


  To Contact Didi Go To Her Website at- www.coachtowin.com


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