Psychotherapist and life coach Didi Zaharides, MA, joined us to share some simple steps for making major decisions in life:
- Know what is important to you, Today. Make your choice from this viewpoint. Often we are considering factors that are no longer important to us, yet we haven’t taken the time to re-evaluate what IS important.
- Ask your Best Friend; You! If your best friend was in this situation, what would you tell her to do? Use the following exercise.
- Break it down to a question --- The question you’d ask your best friend.
- Ask the question out loud
- Answer it out loud.
- What is your verbal answer? Notice any doubt associated with your answer and see where it comes from. Do you doubt because of ‘other factors’ or because of the choice itself? When you are acting as your own best friend, you are more likely to be honest with yourself and be realistic. It may push you out of your comfort zone and you may not like the answer.
- Weigh the risk v reward: Look at the facts. Most individuals regret decisions when they didn’t risk or take a chance, yet realistically the reward has to outweigh the risk. Often it’s tough to make a choice that feels risky, but if the reward is high enough a person will act. Write a list of pros/cons; what is the right answer for you in THIS moment? Recognize how you make other choices which you consider simple, how do you decide what to have for breakfast?
- Don’t let fear be the guiding emotion. Individuals often feel as if it is supposed to be ‘easy’ or you hear someone say, ‘It just isn’t supposed to be this hard.’ Says who? Just because something is easy doesn’t mean it is the right choice for you. Don’t give in to the fear --- it may be signally important change is about to occur, but it doesn’t mean it is wrong or negative.
- Trust your Gut. Most often we know based on how it feels; don’t discount when it feels right. Faith often has to be a driving force when facts are not clear.
For more information, visit Didi's website.