DVD review: Skip to the end of American Pie: Book of Love

I’ll let you in on a dirty little secret.  I own the first two American Pie movies.  While that pretty much destroys what little movie reviewing credibility I had, I admit I’m not above enjoying the occasional teen sex comedy.  These aren’t your standard 1980’s late-night cable tv offering.  American Pie and American Pie 2 had the perfect blend of raunchy comedy, heartwarming lessons, and memorable characters.

For a second, I thought we were on the verge of a new teen movie renaissance hearkening back to superior films such as Porky’s and the high quality output delivered by John Hughes.  Audiences really dug  American Pie and producers have decided to capitalize on this by beating the series into the ground with yet another straight-to-dvd sequel.

The third film in this series, American Wedding, closed the story on the beloved Jim, Michelle, and Stifler, but as long as East Great Falls High School exists, there’ll always be more pie to serve.  The Book of Love marks the fourth direct-to-home-video sequel and this formula is getting old, really fast.  As usual, Jim’s dad makes another appearance, as does one of the seemingly endless Stifler family members.

This seventh chapter introduces three new losers, desperate to lose their virginity.  Despite the fact that two of them are on the basketball team, they continue to strike out in what is the overwhelming and consuming passion of their lives.  After 30 minutes or so of bumbling and humiliation, they discover the sex “Bible” (linking this film to the original) created by former Great Falls High students and attempt to learn the ways of love.

It’s a cool concept and a great way to link this movie to the original, but frankly, I was bored to tears throughout.  This pie isn’t a tasty treat.  It’s not funny, it isn’t sexy, and it’s not gross enough to muster any interest whatsoever.  This flick is straight-up boring and appearances by Eugene Levy (again), Rosanna Arquette, C. Thomas Howell, Dustin Diamond, Bret Michaels, Sherman Hemsley, Curtis Armstrong, and K-Fed tell you that their careers have really sunk.

While there is plenty of nudity, lesbian kisses, and geriatric prostitutes to go around (strange that this is a Christmas week release), The Book of Love is as awkward as your typical high school boy.  It never hits a stride and the few laughs that do come happen too rarely.  I didn’t expect much, but The Book of Love is one book that should be burned.

1 out of 5
Rated R and Unrated (Since this is a straight-to-video release, why even bother making a rated version??)

The DVD

American Pie Presents The Book of Love is a competently made production and the disc sports a nice and clean 1.78:1 widescreen image.  The technical aspects don’t make up for the lack of humor, but you can rest assured that it’ll look decent.

If you can stomach the movie, or stay awake until the end, you might be amused by a solid group of bonus features, some of which are far more entertaining than the film.

Deleted Scenes (11:20)
Gag Reel (4 minutes)
From the Set (19:18) – A series of ad-libs, swearing, clowning around, joke outtakes, bloopers, and slow-motion shots of girls running in the nude.
On the Set of American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (8:06) – The director, producer, and stars reflect on the film and the good-natured vibe displayed on the set.
Just the Tips: The Love Manual (5:45) – The cast offers love tips to the DVD audience.
American Pie trivia (8:55) – Test your knowledge with 10 trivia questions from the A.P. series.  I got 8 out of 10 right.
American Pie-cons (6:50) – This featurette focuses on the film’s many c-list celebrity cameos.

All in all it’s a decent amount of bonus features.  It’s just too bad you probably won’t care once you’ve seen the movie.

Bonus Features rating
4 out of 5