I was surprised to find that director Robby Henson's horror flick, "House," derives from a novel written by a chap named Ted Dekker.

My surprise came not from knowing anything more about Dekker than what I could find on the web (having not read any of his books), but because I found that his fiction purportedly has a strong Christian bent - and I noticed no hint of that while watching the movie.

The setup is a ho-hum one: attractive couple with a history Jack and Stephanie (hunky Reynaldo Rosales and decorative Heidi Dippold) receive bad directions (from a cop played by Michael Madsen - I mean, really, they should have known better) and end up driving down a deserted road to nowhere good. Break out the Deep Woods Off. Finding themselves stranded in a driving rainstorm, they hole up in a romantic-looking B & B down the road that they somehow failed to notice when they drove past it in the first place.

Uh oh.

While taking in the deserted lobby and signing the guest book, they are surprised when another young attractive couple, Randy and Leslie (edgy, dangerous-looking J.P. Davis and bodice-bursting Julie Ann Emery) appear from upstairs, having just arrived and - finding no one about - wandered off exploring the premises. Introductions all around are highlighted by a lascivious checking out of Jack by Leslie, which Stephanie notices but Randy seems not to. (Ménage à quatre, mayhaps? Alas, wrong movie.)

Following a lightning-induced power outage and a short expedition to find candles (they settle for oil lamps), the quartet are surprised by the appearance of a severely-dressed and peculiarly Faye Dunaway-like woman named Betty (Leslie Easterbrook). After revealing herself to be as crazy as a loon/coot hybrid (she demands that they all wash up before dinner, making reference to "filthy animals"), she directs them to the dining room, where four places have already been mysteriously set.

Enter the other two occupants of this rambling old estate: Betty's ghoulish son Stewart (Bill Moseley, practically drooling over the buxom Leslie) and her flat-out mean husband, Pete (Lew Temple, spewing vitriol). If you noted that all three of the actors portraying the homeowners previously appeared in The Devil's Rejects, go to the decapitated head of the class. Perhaps the House casting crew could think of none better to fill the same old creepshow shoes - or maybe these folks just work cheap.

Despite the fact that the three creepy stooges begin talking about their guests as if they were table scraps (and what IS that greasy meat they keep sawing on at dinner, anyway?), our protagonists tarry too long, and by the time Stephanie decides she's had it and opens the front door, all avenues of escape suddenly slam shut.

What ensues is the standard semi-supernatural masked-killer stalk through the vast underground tunnels of the sub-basement (psycho-analytical mumbo-jumbo, anyone?), punctuated by a series of character-defining flashbacks through which we discover the guilt-ridden Achilles heels of each of the four visitors to the house.

There's much talk of the "game," which the dreaded Tin Man is forcing them to play - the rules of which don't make a lot of sense. There's much ado made about a devil's-head pentagram discovered on the wall of the basement - as if its presence suddenly explains everything about their dire phantasmagoric circumstances. It's not until the last reel that what's really going on is fully revealed, and it comes as little surprise by that point. (Nor - by that point - do we particularly care one way or the other.)

Making an appearance about halfway into this mildly scary, perhaps too tastefully restrained horror tale is a young girl with dark circles under her eyes named Susan (Allana Bale). At first a menacing presence, she resolves into something of a deus ex machina, providing at least one of the visiting couples with an outside chance of surviving this benighted mess of a spookhouse.

The wisdom that Susan imparts provides the only clue (and then only in retrospect) that there might be something vaguely Christian-themed going on here. What she tells Jack is that "only light can overcome the darkness."

Which he might have actually figured out on his own, if he had half a brain.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE?: "I'm telling you, Jack, there's something off about these people." - Stephanie, advocating a swift departure from the Wayside Inn

BUT NOT THAT 'OLD' KIND: "Oh, God, it's black magic!" - Jack, on uncovering the pentagram

SO MUCH FOR CASTING STONES: "You're all guilty as sin." - Tin Man