The Autobot Optimus Prime returns to battle the Decepticons in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" directed by Michael Bay.

Michael Bay is the modern day Jim Jones. The reason I say this is because for about 24 hours, he had me believing. I drank the Kool Aid and if Bay was Jim Jones, I’d be dead. Luckily, viewing the new Transformers film isn’t akin to committing suicide unless you count the death of your pride and self-esteem.

For those who don’t know, Michael Bay is the embattled director of blockbuster hits such as Armageddon, Bad Boys 1 and 2, Con Air and of course, Transformers. I call him embattled because critics around the country hate his work, despite his box office shattering resume. He's become a joke in critical circles due to his excessive, hyperactive visual style. Yes, I know film is a visual medium, but it's often best served with restraint. Michael Bay, however, knows no restraint and knows no limits.

The problem with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is that it's really two movies wrapped into one. On one side, you have a mindless and somewhat enjoyable giant robot/military shoot-em-up that, while devoid of any intelligence or plot, serves as mindless brain candy for summertime audiences. It's the other half that's much more insidious.

I sometimes wonder if Bay and his writing team are really just a bunch of 13-year-olds with a 200 million dollar budget at their disposal. That's the only way to justify how stupid and blatantly offensive this film is. Sure, it has bombastic action sequences. The end robot/human battle in Egypt is a 30-minute, non-stop action-lovers dream which will surely have teen boys swooning all summer. This is the part that stays with you and makes you think it's not so bad.

The part that stinks is how blatantly Bay has disregarded his core audience. I don't care how you justify it, but Transformers is really a kids movie and should be made for kids. I know it's 30 and 40-something people like me who grew up with the 80's cartoon, but giant robots...come on, that's a flick with kid appeal. How then can Bay justify a pair of jive-talking, stereotypically "Black" robots who spend the entire movie bickering in a faux-ghetto drawl. That would be bad enough if not for all the sexual innuendo and liberal peppering of words like "s--t," "god---n," and "p---y." Is that what we really want in a kids movie? Really? Is that what you want to subject your 12 and 13-year-olds to? Believe me, I'm no member of the Moral Majority, and I like adult entertainment as much as the next person, but come on. This is just pointless, reckless and wrong. It wasn't funny and did nothing to serve the film except as a cheap throwaway joke for adults. Nobody goes to Transformers to see silly comedy.

Bay delivers on the action even if he has once again reached into his filmmakers toolkit. All the Bay excesses are there; extreme close-up action shots, the low angle hero pose, the camera that constantly arcs around two lovers, and of course the slow-mo military action walk. It's all so predictable. Bay has become a joke and you know exactly what to expect with his films. Someone suggested having a drinking game where you take a swig upon each "Michael Bay" camera shot. I can't condone this because you'd have alcohol poisoning by the end of the film. It's as if someone injected Bay with a purified and caffeinated shot of adrenaline between each camera take. Unbelievably he's managed to outdo even himself and the man is truly out of control.

So while every bone in my body wanted to enjoy this film, if simply for the action. My heart and mind tell me that it's wrong. This review will likely not change your opinion and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will make a gazillion dollars. I'm just warning you. It's a movie so ridiculously over the top that you'll probably enjoy it. Just don't expect to respect yourself for liking it.

1.5 out of 5
Rated PG-13