Letters from a killer
"Dear Judith," is how the letter began as the author sat alone in a jail cell.
"The hardest part is the nights," it continued. "You never know how much I need you."
The letters were to his wife, his loneliness and longing spilling out on the page: "When I do dream, it's of you. The ocean with Oscar and Sugar. Riding the bikes to Seaside. Isn't it good memories we had?"
His letters were so sweet, so loving, that Green River Killer Gary Ridgway almost convinced his wife Judith he didn't do it.
"He told me what I wanted to hear," said Judith.
Gary started telling her what she wanted to hear after his arrest in 2001, almost from the minute the jailhouse doors slammed shut behind him.
Sometimes, he'd send two or three letters a day. In the letters he professed his devotion to her and gave her advice about their home and finances.
But after a while his letters piled up on the table.
"I'd get ten letters and they'd get all stacked up and then I'd write maybe half a page back or something," Judith said. "And it was painful to write the letters to him. Because my life was gone."
Judith says Gary destroyed her life.
Many of Judith's possessions were swept up by investigators, and their home had to be sold to pay Gary's lawyer.
But Judith still had doubts. Was her husband really a killer?
So she turned to Gary's letters -- not the words he put down on paper, but his handwriting. Could it tell Judith if her husband was truly a madman?
Judith went to handwriting expert Pennie Morehead. Gary's handwriting couldn't reveal his guilt, but it did turn up some interesting things.
"When I first started out I wanted to find that really pathological part of the handwriting where I could say 'ah ha, this guy's a killer.' But that didn't happen," Morehead said.
The handwriting of most people will change according to their mood, but as they went through dozens of Gary's letters, they noticed his simple script changed.
"The handwriting presented itself in the same way he did, kind of quiet, polite, kind of timid," said Morehead, adding that it shows Gary needed control - including control of his emotions.
It helped him wear that public mask of normalcy so no one would know he was a killer.
The mask cracked when Gary confessed to police and detailed his grisly crimes. His letters to Judith changed too.
"I made a prayer to God I will stop killing if I don't get caught," read one of the letters.
The words were so devastating to Judith that she stopped opening his letters. She took out a pen and wrote one final letter to him. She had a question - perhaps the most important question of all.
"One that I was wanting to know about is if he was going to kill me too?" said Judith. "But he never did answer that question."
Asked what she thought the answer was, she replied, "No, he didn't want to. If he did I would have been gone."
Gary's last letter came three years ago. Then, Judith told him to stop writing her and to stop calling. She said talking to Gary was keeping her in pain.
Gary still sends letters to her, but through a friend. The friend throws them away.
Judith says she needs to get on with her life, but she's not sure if she'll ever be the same.
"I hope I'll be different and just put it all behind me," she said. "But some things are hard to forget."
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For Judith Ridgway's in-depth story and more analysis of Gary's letters, you can read more in the book "Green River Serial Killer: Biography of an Unsuspecting Wife," by Pennie Morehead.
"The hardest part is the nights," it continued. "You never know how much I need you."
The letters were to his wife, his loneliness and longing spilling out on the page: "When I do dream, it's of you. The ocean with Oscar and Sugar. Riding the bikes to Seaside. Isn't it good memories we had?"
His letters were so sweet, so loving, that Green River Killer Gary Ridgway almost convinced his wife Judith he didn't do it.
"He told me what I wanted to hear," said Judith.
Gary started telling her what she wanted to hear after his arrest in 2001, almost from the minute the jailhouse doors slammed shut behind him.
Sometimes, he'd send two or three letters a day. In the letters he professed his devotion to her and gave her advice about their home and finances.
But after a while his letters piled up on the table.
"I'd get ten letters and they'd get all stacked up and then I'd write maybe half a page back or something," Judith said. "And it was painful to write the letters to him. Because my life was gone."
Judith says Gary destroyed her life.
Many of Judith's possessions were swept up by investigators, and their home had to be sold to pay Gary's lawyer.
But Judith still had doubts. Was her husband really a killer?
So she turned to Gary's letters -- not the words he put down on paper, but his handwriting. Could it tell Judith if her husband was truly a madman?
Judith went to handwriting expert Pennie Morehead. Gary's handwriting couldn't reveal his guilt, but it did turn up some interesting things.
"When I first started out I wanted to find that really pathological part of the handwriting where I could say 'ah ha, this guy's a killer.' But that didn't happen," Morehead said.
The handwriting of most people will change according to their mood, but as they went through dozens of Gary's letters, they noticed his simple script changed.
"The handwriting presented itself in the same way he did, kind of quiet, polite, kind of timid," said Morehead, adding that it shows Gary needed control - including control of his emotions.
It helped him wear that public mask of normalcy so no one would know he was a killer.
The mask cracked when Gary confessed to police and detailed his grisly crimes. His letters to Judith changed too.
"I made a prayer to God I will stop killing if I don't get caught," read one of the letters.
The words were so devastating to Judith that she stopped opening his letters. She took out a pen and wrote one final letter to him. She had a question - perhaps the most important question of all.
"One that I was wanting to know about is if he was going to kill me too?" said Judith. "But he never did answer that question."
Asked what she thought the answer was, she replied, "No, he didn't want to. If he did I would have been gone."
Gary's last letter came three years ago. Then, Judith told him to stop writing her and to stop calling. She said talking to Gary was keeping her in pain.
Gary still sends letters to her, but through a friend. The friend throws them away.
Judith says she needs to get on with her life, but she's not sure if she'll ever be the same.
"I hope I'll be different and just put it all behind me," she said. "But some things are hard to forget."
----
For Judith Ridgway's in-depth story and more analysis of Gary's letters, you can read more in the book "Green River Serial Killer: Biography of an Unsuspecting Wife," by Pennie Morehead.