PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - The pastor of a downtown Portland church has acknowledged taking church money intended for charity and gambling with it.

The board of First Christian Church asked Rex Loy to resign after an audit determined that at least $30,000 was taken in 2006 from a fund designed to help struggling members with rent, bills and food.

"I am overwhelmed with shame and remorse for the damage caused by my illness," Loy said in an e-mail to the congregation last week. "I have lied to you, and I have stolen from you . . . which means I have lied to and stolen from God."

Last month, Loy told members he was taking leave to get psychological treatment, saying he had "reached a mental-emotional-spiritual crisis" but not elaborating.

Vickie Edwards, president of the congregation, said officials were troubled beginning last summer by such things as Loy's inability to produce receipts for purchases and checks cashed without the required co-signature. The board eventually hired an auditor, and last week asked Loy to resign.

Loy told The Oregonian newspaper that he was receiving treatment for addiction and post-traumatic stress disorder stemming from being abducted at gunpoint 12 years ago in St. Louis and forced to play Russian roulette.

The membership is divided between those who think Loy got off easy and those who want to accept the appeal he made to the congregation hours after he learned he would be asked to leave:

"I believe that the best years of my ministry are before me, that I will be strongest in my broken places, and that my illness will afford me a kinship with others who are broken. ... Will you accept my apology? Will you forgive me as Christ forgave?"