Review: A dizzyingly implausible new 'Red Dawn'

The army invading the United States in "Red Dawn," an ill-advised remake of the campy 1984 original, was changed in post-production from Chinese to North Korean. With a few snips here, a few re-dubs there, the filmmakers re-edited and re-shot, fearful of offending China and its increasingly important movie-going market.
But why stop there? Can't we blithely make any nation our enemy for movie-sake? Let's try a version with Iran! And don't we have reason to be suspicious of Sweden? Do we REALLY know what's in all those giant Ikea stores-
The ridiculous "Red Dawn" is the supreme example of Hollywood's Cold War nostalgia, when the Russkies offered up an easy, de facto villain. Today's terrorism paranoia, apparently, is too complex and too faceless for some. No, we need a clear-cut enemy. Do you have something in red?
The awkward updating of "Red Dawn" came after Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, which had produced the film back in 2009, went bankrupt. Not surprisingly, the market was weak for a film that reportedly cost $60 million to make and suggested modern China was the equivalent of Cold War-era Soviet Union. So the switch was made and distributor FilmDistrict picked it up.
Like the original, "Red Dawn" is about a band of high-schoolers whose hometown (now Spokane, Wash., instead of small town Colorado) is suddenly taken over by parachuting foreign troops. With most adults locked-up and military response not coming, the kids develop into a gang of insurgents, dubbing themselves the Wolverines.
Back in 1984, the kids were played by brat pack all-stars: Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Charlie Sheen, Jennifer Grey. Yes, Tom Brokaw had it wrong: This was truly the greatest generation. The film (the first PG-13 rated movie, incidentally) was grade-A '80s kitsch, a movie that captured the imaginations of kids growing up amid Cold War fears.
The new "Red Dawn" has no such context. While there is plenty of anxiety to go around these days, North Korea is more likely viewed a punchline than a legitimate invasion threat. (In the film, Russia is suggested to be cahoots with them, as well.) The implausibility is dizzying, all around.
The cast is centered on two brothers: the returning Iraq veteran Jed (Chris Hemsworth, the "Snow White and the Huntsman" star) and high school quarterback Matt Eckert (Josh Peck). They're the leaders of the Wolverines, whose ranks include Josh Hutcherson ("The Hunger Games"), Adrianne Palicki ("Friday Night Lights"), Connor Cruise and Edwin Hodge.
From a mountain cabin and other woodsy lairs, they launch guerilla warfare on the occupying North Koreans. Director Dan Bradley, a former stunt coordinator, can mount a decent shoot-out scene, but doesn't stage the action well, leaving scenes looking set in the same few downtown blocks. Still, there's no telling how Bradley had to alter his footage. (No one had it harder than actor Will Yun Lee, who, as the occupying commander, had to redo his lines in Korean.)
In recent years, home invasion movies have been made frequently, only with aliens. The appeal, as one of the characters in "Red Dawn" says, is that defending one's homeland makes "more sense" in a time filled with indirect military aims.
But such fantasies - here played out by delusional teenage football players - are all the more dubious given that the U.S. was engaged in two (real) wars at the time of filming. In "Red Dawn," Afghanistan and Iraq go hardly mentioned, replaced by a game of toy soldiers with make-believe foes.
"Red Dawn," a FilmDistrict release, is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense war violence and action, and for language. Running time: 93 minutes. One star out of four.
But why stop there? Can't we blithely make any nation our enemy for movie-sake? Let's try a version with Iran! And don't we have reason to be suspicious of Sweden? Do we REALLY know what's in all those giant Ikea stores-
The ridiculous "Red Dawn" is the supreme example of Hollywood's Cold War nostalgia, when the Russkies offered up an easy, de facto villain. Today's terrorism paranoia, apparently, is too complex and too faceless for some. No, we need a clear-cut enemy. Do you have something in red?
The awkward updating of "Red Dawn" came after Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, which had produced the film back in 2009, went bankrupt. Not surprisingly, the market was weak for a film that reportedly cost $60 million to make and suggested modern China was the equivalent of Cold War-era Soviet Union. So the switch was made and distributor FilmDistrict picked it up.
Like the original, "Red Dawn" is about a band of high-schoolers whose hometown (now Spokane, Wash., instead of small town Colorado) is suddenly taken over by parachuting foreign troops. With most adults locked-up and military response not coming, the kids develop into a gang of insurgents, dubbing themselves the Wolverines.
Back in 1984, the kids were played by brat pack all-stars: Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Charlie Sheen, Jennifer Grey. Yes, Tom Brokaw had it wrong: This was truly the greatest generation. The film (the first PG-13 rated movie, incidentally) was grade-A '80s kitsch, a movie that captured the imaginations of kids growing up amid Cold War fears.
The new "Red Dawn" has no such context. While there is plenty of anxiety to go around these days, North Korea is more likely viewed a punchline than a legitimate invasion threat. (In the film, Russia is suggested to be cahoots with them, as well.) The implausibility is dizzying, all around.
The cast is centered on two brothers: the returning Iraq veteran Jed (Chris Hemsworth, the "Snow White and the Huntsman" star) and high school quarterback Matt Eckert (Josh Peck). They're the leaders of the Wolverines, whose ranks include Josh Hutcherson ("The Hunger Games"), Adrianne Palicki ("Friday Night Lights"), Connor Cruise and Edwin Hodge.
From a mountain cabin and other woodsy lairs, they launch guerilla warfare on the occupying North Koreans. Director Dan Bradley, a former stunt coordinator, can mount a decent shoot-out scene, but doesn't stage the action well, leaving scenes looking set in the same few downtown blocks. Still, there's no telling how Bradley had to alter his footage. (No one had it harder than actor Will Yun Lee, who, as the occupying commander, had to redo his lines in Korean.)
In recent years, home invasion movies have been made frequently, only with aliens. The appeal, as one of the characters in "Red Dawn" says, is that defending one's homeland makes "more sense" in a time filled with indirect military aims.
But such fantasies - here played out by delusional teenage football players - are all the more dubious given that the U.S. was engaged in two (real) wars at the time of filming. In "Red Dawn," Afghanistan and Iraq go hardly mentioned, replaced by a game of toy soldiers with make-believe foes.
"Red Dawn," a FilmDistrict release, is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense war violence and action, and for language. Running time: 93 minutes. One star out of four.
It's from Hollywood. Of course it's implausible. It's called "suspension of disbelief".
Criminy, if Hollywood were to produce anything plausible, California would probably drop off into the sea.
Nothing will ever come close to the original.
I am looking forward to this as the sit down shut up and eat your popcorn movie is exactly what i want to see. If i want to watch thincs that make me think i will pull up documentories on Netflix if i am paying to see a movie i want to be entertained for a couple hours and not think about the outside world. Most movies are completely implausible yet we love them anyway.
There are just some movies that *should not* be remade and this is one of them! The whole plot sounds totally so far off ..Â
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The original has some good moments and some classic actors, but honestly, it wasn't a great movie by any means. I'm not surprised that this one is bad.Â
'the filmmakers re-edited and re-shot, fearful of offending China' Funny, the Chinese don't have any problems offending us. But since the Chinese hold about 95% of the U.S. purse strings, I guess they can call the shots on how they want to be portrayed.
 @theobserver Yeah...you have to be careful about biting the hand that feeds you your daily dose of melamine and lead.
Do you have as much of a problem with alien invasion movies?
 @brautigan Totally plausible, dude. Totally. ;-)
The original Red Dawn even though it wasn't high tech, it is a classic. I do not intend to see the remake.
North Korea invading America, that's a good one.
 @dkgiovenco About as far fetched as the Soviet Union dropping paratroopers into Colorado, and reinforcing them with Nicaraguan & Cuban troops.
@poopstainmonkey @dkgiovenco the Russians came in on commercial jets and leased homes. They invaded the public schools not by parachute, but by school bus.
Wow! I think someone would rather be a foreign correspondent or cover the geo-political arena than be writing a movie review. Â You make more comments about the original movie, the business decisions of owning a movie studio, politically motivated post-production changes, and the real-world social context of what was going on when they were filming... and the only comment about the movie is that the shootouts seem like they all happen in the same set?
All great points...unfortunately, the guy who wrote the review will probably never see the comments. It was written by someone with the Associated Press, and not from KATU, which means it's a 'canned' article from the AP wire service.
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Sure would be nice if critics would just rate the movie instead of trying to psycho-analyze it...!!!!
 @Maximus But then they wouldn't feel all powerful and important. :-P