Past the Tipping Point: Teen's mistake leads to his final one
AMBOY, Wash. – Tami and Ron Suetta's son, David, was one of seven kids in the Battle Ground School District who committed suicide in the last two years.
David was close to his family. He had friends, and he wasn't bullied. But he did make one mistake – the kind of mistake a lot of teenagers make – and sadly, he followed that up with another one that neither he nor his parents can undo.
None of it makes sense to Tami and Ron. It doesn't make sense that their 17-year-old son would choose to end his life.
David was ambitious and hardworking and in the ROTC program as a junior at Battle Ground High School.
Then one night he made a bad decision.
"Him and two other friends had gotten drunk in the parking lot," said Tami. "So he got arrested for minor in possession."
He was suspended from school, but for him that wasn't the worst part.
"He was told that depending on the outcome, which would have been Jan. 12, that's when he was supposed to go to court, that he may be dropped from the program – the ROTC," Tami said.
January 12 was a day David just couldn't face. So he avoided it with the most permanent decision anyone can make, leaving his parents to contemplate what they might have said or done to help him see past what was only temporarily in the way.
"If we had known maybe we could have had that talk with David," Tami said.
"I'd tell him that everything would work out. Tomorrow is always different," Ron said. "I think when you're a teenager all you think about is today not tomorrow or next week or how things are going to turn out eventually. They're thinking about right now."
Youth suicide experts say that's just how teenagers' brains are wired. They say it's why it's so important for parents to remind their teens that whatever the disappointment they're dealing with right now, it won't feel terrible forever.
So.....teenagers get kicked out of a great program for doing what teeenagers do. And that's called experiment. But adults that do know right from wrong, get a slap on the hand and let back out on the streets where they reoffend. I'm sure this young man knew it was wrong to drink. That's not my point. But to take him away from a program in high school, where he was GOING to school, and participating in extra curricular activities is rediculous. Shame on that school. But then again it is Washington. Their laws are so back asswards. Nothing about Washingtons laws make sense. I would never live there ever again. Worst state ever.
He made a poor choice, as a result his family and friends suffered . I do not feel sorry for the lad who died. He made a choice, he chose to drive drunk, He chose not to do what he was suppose to do.. HE made choices. He died by those choices. He didn't think of others nor his family when he chose to be selfish . Yeah, I know what trying suicide is like So I can speak..Only tied it once, the doctor said that was pretty damn selfish of you. So after that incident, I never Tried it ever again. Sometimes you need a 2x4 to get the message through. (not a physical 2x4)
Ron and Tami, thank you for sharing your son's story. It's been said so many times, but if even one family is spared what you've gone through, your public discussion about David will be worth it. I am sorry for your loss, as the mother of a son myself I can't imagine how strong you must be to stand up and talk about all this through your grief.
Maybe we should be rethinking treating a 17 year old drinking as a criminal action.
It's not treated as a criminal action. An MIP is only a Class A violation.Â
 @knottriel Most countries have a limit of 18, if any.  When I grew up, some states were 18.  Idaho was 20 for beer.  I would be in favor of lowering the age limit and certainly not making underage consumption a very serious offense. Â
I warn kids all the time that making one bad decision can have significant and long term consequences. Most kids know the rules and still think that if they break them everything will still be alright.
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This is a very sad story all around and there are no winners here.
 @RalphCramden With all due respect, a pro-gun person is not who should be speaking to children.Â
 @correctÂ
Thankfully you don't count.
 @RalphCramden That's profoundly incorrect. I should know.
 @correct A person who supports the 2nd amendment should not speak to children? What planet did you come from?
 @correct  @RalphCramden "With all due respect" = "Kiss my arse."
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It would be better if MORE children were given basic firearms training by "pro-gun" people. We can see where pussified anti-gun people have gotten us - to where a child can be punished for having even a piece of paper crudely shaped like a gun.
Sounds harsh, but the wo is me mentality of these kids and not thinking of the pain they leave behind for the survivors is just plain selfish. My heart goes out to the family for their loss. We've got to get these kids to understand it's not all about me me me. So he might get dropped from the ROTC program, one door closes, another opens. I admit I ave issues over suicide having to deal with it in my family, but I feel they are just being self centered and selfish. RIP David.
 @The ResistanceÂ
I see anger and revenge at others being obvious in the reported circumstances of many suicides. It's like the ultimate expression of cutting off your nose to spite your face. No rationality to it at all. I think many suicides are just impulsive and that's why so many friends and relatives are left struggling to understand why.
College ROTC isn't going to accept a guy who's been arrested recently, and that's pretty much a zero-tolerance organization... ...except for when it comes to alcohol. :/
I seems our society is becoming more and more intolerant of minor infractions of the law. Accompanied with threats to a young mans dreams, the threatening and punitive posture taken by police on our young is intolerable. In this instance "tough love" accomplished noting except death and sorrow. It appears David had not been introuble before and perhaps his indiscretion would not have lead to to being "dopped from ROTC", but we will never know. We do know that the hard line tactics of discipline in this case did not work.  Â
 @Lori NormanÂ
Decisions have consequences.
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I know of a young girl who got a lot of tattoos and piercings. She decided to go on to be a medical professional. She went though 6 years of schooling and got her MS but can't find a job. Few are interested in someone who looks like a drug addict.
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She is not having surgery to fix all of her piercings and have all the tattoos removed. It is costing her a fortune but if she wants a good paying job she is going to have to improver her image.
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On top of that she has many arrests for protesting pretty much everything. Her record and here web presence are also a big detraction.
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Kids need to be aware of the long term consequences for their actions. Life can be a cruel taskmaster.
 @Lori Norman "I seems our society is becoming more and more intolerant of minor infractions of the law."
What? If so, we're also becoming more tolerant of major infractions. Society is no longer linear in its approach to justice; a kid will be punished harshly for something while an adult who commits a greater offense to the public will suffer no long-term consequences.Â
When I was in college people got thrown out of ROTC for getting an ear pierced.Â
 @Playanekes  @Lori Norman Fortunately, you can still cheat medicare, bring down a bank, and pollute the gulf without much of a penalty.
I'm so very sorry for your loss..
Good Charlotte did a music video about 10 years ago, "Hold on if you feel like letting go." The lyrics spoke to the suicidal teens heart, but the video played nothing but family and friends of suicides saying how their world was destroyed after the suicide.
It made a world of a difference for me and some of my friends.
All we could see was suicide as a fix to our problem, but the video opened our eyes to the fact that the suicide would cause so many more problems. I give a lot of credit to that song for me making it to my 20's.
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@The_AnnaCannard Glad your still with us!!!!! It's easy to forget how important you are to yourself and others
So sorry for the family. Kids just don't realize that the worries that affect them the most when they're younger will mean nothing to them in a very short time. I remember being with my back against the wall. It seemed so permanent, and so utterly hopeless. Carry him in your heart, and please realize that he didn't mean to hurt you.
This part is really especially "spot on":
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"I'd tell him that everything would work out. Tomorrow is always different," Ron said. "I think when you're a teenager all you think about is today not tomorrow or next week or how things are going to turn out eventually. They're thinking about right now." Youth suicide experts say that's just how teenagers' brains are wired. They say it's why it's so important for parents to remind their teens that whatever the disappointment they're dealing with right now, it won't feel terrible forever."
 @whirledworldÂ
The hard part is getting kids to actually believe it will get better or they will change their minds, and it's not just their out of touch, irrelevant parents say so.
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Say what you will about religion and afterlife. I don't think there is any denying that a person who thinks life doesn't end at death and there are consequences after death to actions taken in this life are less likely to commit suicide than kids who don't. I know I'd be dead if it weren't for my belief. Maybe the atheist leaning society we have been building for decades is at least partly to blame for the increase in suicide.
My condolences to the family. Â I am so sorry that he felt so trapped in his situation. Â
Just around the next bend in the road is the most wonderful time... You know, it's true ! Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.. How sad..
As they say, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.