Woman recounts nightmare surrogate pregnancy
VANCOUVER, Wash. – Becoming a mother was one of the best things that ever happened to Cari Byers of Vancouver. That love of family lead her to choose to help other women who couldn’t carry a child on their own; twice Byers has agreed to be a surrogate mom for a local family.
“The first two surrogacies were pretty awesome experiences looking back,” she said.
So when Byers was contacted to help a couple in China start a family following several miscarriages, she agreed.
“It was just pitched that they wanted a genetic child of their own. They tried and they had miscarriages,” Byers explained.
She learned that many Chinese couples turn to American surrogates to carry a baby on their behalf.
It is expensive for the Chinese parents. The babies born here that return to China are called “million dollar babies” because the surrogate process, through delivery, really does cost the equivalent of one million U.S. dollars.
The surrogacy process
Byers was flown to Chicago and the U.S. headquarters of Yulane, the international surrogacy agency managing the match. In Chicago she met the intended parents.
It was during a subsequent visit to Chicago when Byers was inseminated with the embryo that she got worried.
She was supposed to be taken to cash an expense check, but said the man who picked her up was clearly drunk and had been out partying with a friend. The bank then wouldn’t cash her check from Yulane because the signature was invalid.
She said the situation wasn’t resolved until a day later when the company sent her a money order.
“So right then I’m like ‘well, now I’m pregnant so what can I do now? I’m like stuck in this situation,’” Byers said. “I knew right then this was going to be a crazy nine months.”
Five months into the pregnancy a test showed the baby boy had a 90 percent curvature of the spine and his organs were growing outside his body. As instructed by the intended parents, Byers decided to not carry the baby to full term.
“There were a lot of tears, a lot of tears,” she said. “You don’t get into it wanting to go through the death of a baby. You want to create a family.”
It was around that time that Byers discovered something disturbing in an email forwarded to her by the surrogacy agency. Tucked into the messages was a reference to someone named Shannon and Chinese characters. Using Google Translate, Byers learned Yulane was reassuring the intended mother in China.
“Shannon has an appointment for genetic testing during pregnancy and to know the problem as soon as possible, identify problems,” the email said.
“I was like, who’s Shannon?” Byers remembered.
Further detective work revealed that Shannon had been simultaneously contracted as a surrogate for the intended parents in China. Shannon was pregnant with twins in Tennessee.
Byers was floored by the news.
“Of course they’re not super upset. They have two babies coming,” she said. “Of course they washed their hands of everything with this baby because they had two more.”
We reached out to Yulane for comment on this story but they never responded.
Sandy Hodgson with the Northwest Surrogacy Center, who is not involved in any way with Byers' transaction, said it would be very rare for the two mothers to not know about each other. She said having simultaneous surrogates isn’t unheard of, but it’s uncommon.
Hodgson said if it does happen, all parties ought to be made aware.
“Our agency would certainly never, or as an attorney we would certainly never count on having double surrogacy going on without everybody knowing about it,” Hodgson said.
Yulane’s website does reference several times the idea of having two surrogate mothers as part of its “no risk” package, which basically guarantees a child or your money back. The company also profiles its surrogates, telling clients about their age, education and other views.
At one point in a video on the site, a man says in Mandarin “you are my forever angel mother.”
Byers does not mince words: After what she went through, she doesn’t feel much like an angel mother in the eyes of the company.
“My biggest regret was that I didn’t research it, that I jumped into it,” she said.
In the end, the Chinese couple did get the twins from Shannon in Tennessee. We learned that Shannon also did not realize there was a simultaneous surrogacy in Washington.
We’re told despite that, she had nothing but positive things to say about her experience with Yulane.
It’s not clear what would have happened if Byers had a healthy baby. Presumably the Chinese couple would have taken all three children.
Surrogacy is illegal in China, but babies born here are considered U.S. citizens, which helps the kids eventually get into American colleges later in life.
It always amazes me that people are surprised by this type of stuff when they condone other indecent types of behavior.....
I have debated weather or not I want to respond to the comments on this thread, and for the most part I do not... but I do want to elaborate on what was not told in this story and clear up what some people seem to think.Â
The main reason I decided I should tell my story was to stop other women from being duped into working with this agency and to possibly bring the issue into the light in hopes that laws can be put into place to stop this type of thing in the future.Â
I got into surrogacy after a friend of the family asked me to carry her child, there was no money mentioned or exchanged. I know from experience that A) there is NOT a plethora of babies out there waiting to be adopted B) the older children waiting in the foster care system or in foreign orphanages for homes have sever psychological problems from the years of abuse and neglect that they have endured, they are dealing with abandonment issues and have a high probability of having RADS (if you want to learn about a complete NIGHTMARE situation read up on RADS). So this misnomer about people choosing surrogacy over adoption is ridicules.Â
I absolutely regret not thinking about what I was getting into when I agreed to be a surrogate for Yulane and I regret more than anyone can imagine getting involved with such an agency... but I will never regret being a surrogate, which has been one of the best things I have ever done!Â
I will explain to everyone the full scope of the "Nightmare", but first I want to make 2 things clear:
1) I DID NOT terminate this pregnancy. The baby was born alive and he passed away.
2) I have actually LOST money in this. Yulane was paid over a quarter of a million dollars to provide this couple with a baby (which They did via the other surrogate), yet they have not paid my medical bills or reimbursed me for the 8 weeks I was out of work after having the c-section. I paid the funeral home and I expect that I will bare the expense of providing the baby with a final resting place. Which I will gladly do, because he deserves to be loved by someone! Â
I'm failing to see the "nightmare" here.Â
Why would someone want a country, so overly populated already, use them as a baby mill when there are very deserving couples in our own country wanting to have a family. I think the desire to have a child in that country is on the low end of their list...first comes the "prestige" of having a "million dollar baby"...next comes the fact that a child of theirs will be an American since it's born here...then maybe the fact that they finally will have a child (or children should all the women have successful pregnancies). And heck...if you find you have to many, you can always sell a couple and recoup part of your investment. You can't tell me there aren't young women in China ready to do this for the extra money. I'm not getting it :(
If Cari doesn't like the way the chinese do baby trafficking then she shouldn't sell babies to them. Sounds like a personal problem to me. What does she expect us to say - "Oh, you should get much more money and better treatment when you go around selling your own chidren for money to foreigners."
So now we are selling children, US citizens, to the Chinese. What kind of country have we become?
@Owt_RagedÂ
We have been a country that aborts babies at the rate of well over 1 million per year, 50-55 million total estimated since Roe v Wade. So things like womb renting and baby selling are hardly surprising. US women by a large proportion would rather kill their unwanted babies than put themselves out to carry them to term and give them up for adoption. So much so, that surrogacy and overseas adoption are about the only way infertile couples can get an infant.Â
Given our cavalier attitude about life in the womb, frankly I'm surprised at the outrage some have expressed here over surrogacy. I'm glad but still surprised though I wonder how many of those same people can muster up similar outrage for the baby killing that goes on relentlessly day after day, some of it funded by tax dollars?@ormom @Owt_Raged Abortion is a form of birth control
@Owt_RagedCareful what you say. KATU
@Owt_Raged BINGO! YOU GOT IT , What kind of country have we become?
Lets see a country that Choses whose rights are more importnat then our children's education,Â
A country that has become cold and calloused .
A country hell bent on dictating to others what should be and should not be.
A country that is losing its freedoms and rights.
A country that is irrational and has sold its soul.
YUP, we are a nice moral decent country selling humans to the highest bidder.
and you now something else, if it is illegal, and there "Million Dollar babies" who do you think in China can afford that and get away with breaking the law? So were aiding and beading criminal activity in another country.
Why hasn't inter-pole done anything?
@lee986321 Let's be pretty clear, we are a country where vegetation is more important than children. Where taking by force from others is now an acceptable way to make a living. Where our government has forgotten that they work for us and our citizens have forgotten that we control the government. Where our elected officials think only of themselves. Where independent thinkers are vilified, where patriots are called terrorists.
Where your value is based on how much you can contribute to a campaign, not to society.
Where in an effort to "equalize" outcome our government has imbedded themselves into areas they are not permitted to be in and the populace just shrugs.
What the Hell, If this isn't abuse of our citizenship born in the US clause, I do not know what is...Freaking a...Now we have human breading for citizenship? Close that freaking door. And weld it shut, let the Chinese have there own damn babies. and if nature says no to the family, then Nature has ruled that there linage be terminated.
I didn't realize there was a human breading, but wouldn't that make us canibals if we're using human breading?
What a living hell. there needs to be something done about this Human "Breeding" for money
âOf course they washed their hands of everything with this baby because they had two more.â Â
I think they "washed their hands of this baby" because  it had 90 percent curvature of the spine and organs growing outside it's body.Â
 I'm no doctor, but I'm guessing that it wasn't a viable baby.
Am I missing something here? Is this lady all up in arms because the Chinese people didn't put all their eggs in her basket, so to speak?
@uselessopinion
I think that perhaps, the surrogate was feeling misled, not realizing that the baby she was carrying was going to be competing with another baby (or in this case babies) across the country to determine which baby will be more worthy of the parents love.Â
@pdxd And that she felt emotionally spent because she was feeling badly about the pregnancy complications and the more than likely failure to thrive situation the baby would have been in had it actually been born.  This dread feeling that her altruistic perspective in giving this couple a child wouldn't happen was further complicated by the deception she felt (had she known there was another surrogate, she might have at least felt some relief in knowing that her pregnancy had to be terminated but the couple would stil receive the other children).
I have far more problem with stories like this - and this:Â http://www.npr.org/2010/11/22/131513165/born-in-the-u-s-a-some-chinese-plan-it-that-way than with Mexican immigrants.
Entitlement mentality? Can't get self-entitled attitude anywhere than from well-to-do Chinese.
I don't see a problems with the arrangements. Â Couple wanted children. Â They had backup options in place for this very contingency. Â It's not horrible...just good planning.
@Garry Egan But you should let both surrogates know it is happening. Can you imagine the anguish and such she went through when she realized the issues the fetus had? She thought she'd let them down and stopped them once again from having a child. She would have had much less of that had she known they had another surrogate.
This is shameful.. Who is minding the store here..
How sad for this surrogate to have carried for 5 months a baby who was so terribly deformed ( and likely not to survive outside the womb). But this company is selling surrogate-produced babies like a 2-for-1 shoe sale. If all 3 babies had survived, would the couple keep all of them or sell one or two in another country? If one of those babies is a girl...then what? What about China's 1-child policy where some women are detained by the government and forced to have abortions against their will, even in third term pregnancies? Meanwhile in China female infanticide and sex selection goes on.
To top off this nightmare: these babies get automatic USA citizenship. That is just not right. The parents are not even living in the country or bearing the child.
Oh well - as long as they get into American colleges - it's all worth it. And American women who sell their souls and their bodies - to the high foreign bidder - I can't imagine why these US women are telling their stories and expecting, what exactly from all of us who would never, ever in a million years consider contracting our bodies out - like this. Simply for profit.
@englishdaisy It's wrong to judge a labor of love by a surrogate who is willing and able to help out infertile couples. Compensation is a perfectly reasonable thing to have in these cases. What about the truly ecstatically joyful families who at last have gotten to have a baby/family after their fertility attempts had failed repeatedly? You would deny them this future? If you use a doctor in your life for anything, you are paying him for a part of using his body too: his brain where he keeps all his knowledge and skill-set. What is the difference? Being pregnant in a healthy manner is a job, and can keep one out of the job market otherwise. Wet nurses have always been compensated too. And they often were the difference between life of death for a newborn.
@whirledworld @englishdaisy "Being pregnant in a healthy manner is a job, and can keep one out of the job market otherwise."
And its ultimate complication can result in the death of the surrogate (and, possibly, the fetus).
@CTWU @whirledworld @englishdaisy excellent points
"Women recounts nightmare surrogate pregnancy" Well, I'll have nightmares just reading this. Only in Chicago.
'Woman recounts nightmare surrogate pregnancy'
So, I'm curious... what was the 'nightmare' part of this pregnancy?
She already knew that she was just a biological incubator, she was paid for her 'services', and she didn't end up carrying the baby to term because of deformities... Where is the 'nightmare'?
About the only participant who I can see to have been through a nightmare, it would be the 'terminated' fetus.Â
@MarkKpic I would think that most of the surrogate pregnancies here in the USA are between a couple and one surrogate who have a mutual connection through doctors and qualified reputable agencies. This surrogate "company" sounds more like a shoe factory rather than a surrogacy institution, and I suspect that most surrogates would turn down an offer like this if they knew they were part of a breeding GROUPÂ for rich foreigners.
Hey Anna -- "inseminated" means someone put semen into her body. If they implanted an embryo (fertilized egg that's been growing and has multiple cells), that's definitely not the same thing as putting semen/ejaculate into her uterus. Might want to invest in a dictionary. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/inseminate
On the previous story I tried to figure out what her big concern was and couldn't. Â So again, I've read THIS story twice and can't figure it out. Â Is it because she wasn't the only one pregnant with this couple's baby(s)? Â What difference would that make? Â I'll just wander away, scratching my head, wondering if maybe a person can get even more out of a surrogate pregnancy if the couple is from outside the United States. Â I guess there's more than one way for a female to sell (or rent out) her girl parts.Â
@Sundowner Anna Canzano really bungled this story. We should have expected that from the lame teaser they posted earlier, and the banner ad they placed where they usually advertise "breaking news". Maybe her contract is up for renewal and she's desperate to not join Thom Jensen in the unemployment line?
@badcat @Sundowner Anna's definitely put her name on better stories. This one was hard to read.
@whirledworld
You are talking about 2 completely different things. Nature left to it's own and nature subjected to external forces. The morality of each is also distinct.
@whirledworld Â
Conception is by every medical definition I know of the same as fertilization, the moment when the egg and sperm join, and the moment a new life with all of it's unique DNA begins. This has nothing to do with ensoulment or religion. Every human on this earth started out the same way, as a one celled zygote.
@ormom @whirledworld prevent the implantation of an egg you mean if indeed it is fertilized. Nature keeps beginning and ending things including your menses cycles. And the production of sperm which don't live forever either. No one is compelled to keep a fertilized egg in them, or to gamble with the dice on pregnancy. No one. Especially the rape victims and the incest victims.Â
When is conception? By whose definition? When does the soul come into the body? Isn't this what you are really talking about? Then let's talk about the soul. When it comes, and when it leaves. It has been said that a soul does not come into the body, really, until birth. Other spiritual paths have other ideas about that. The point is, you cannot expect everyone to follow and agree with your spiritual beliefs about life and deaht and everything inbeweeen, unless you want everyone to follow the same spiritual path/religion...which may not end up being your favorite one. It may end up being Sharia' (unless that is your fave), or Santaria, or Wiccan. or Catholicism or... and there you are stuck in that. And that is the point of living in the USA: you can follow your OWN spiritual path and no one is going to make it illegal or persecute you for it.
@badcat
I am well aware of the smokescreen you are trying to send out to hide the fact that the morning after pill ends a human life. You can argue pregnancy vs frozen embryos vs whatever, but what I can't figure out is why you bother if there is nothing wrong with taking the pill in the first place?
@whirledworldÂ
If you can't separate out the moral difference between taking a pill to end a life, if one is there and not taking a pill, or simply going about your normal activities then I can't help you.
@ormom @badcat If you do any number of activities from working overtime too much, fighting with your husband or BF, diet/eating disorders too much, work out in the gym too much etc. which can stress your body, and therefore upset your hormones (adrenals and then your thyroid, hypothlamus, progesterone and estrogen)you could be "killing" your own fertilized eggs, ormom. It happens in nature all the time. So unless you sit quietly for days on end from the time you have intercourse enough to POSSIBLY get knocked up til 9 months have passed, you could be the guilty party...if you are wanting to launch blame at anyone regarding loss of potentially fertilized eggs.Â
The fact is: you *don't* know if an egg is fertilized or not and hence, you are guessing about whether these pills prevent a pregnancy or not, since there is no proof of any pregnancy yet. Implantation is a tricky business. The body's immune system in it's complex ways wants to reject such a foreign invader. Many, many eggs don't even get fertilized regardless of how much you were doing the wild thing for several months. Many, many eggs are not meant to implant, fertilized and all. It's not a black-and-white thing like you are saying and thinking. Science, biology and fertility are far more complex than that.
@ormom So what about all those frozen embryos that are just sitting around? Who's pregnant there? What about all the fertilized eggs that never implant? You're wrong. Sorry if your pastor says otherwise.
@badcat
no, I'm not. Try using a medical dictionary.
@badcat
Pregnancy by definition starts at conception as does a human life. You are letting your terms get you mixed up as to what is going on, which is the ending of a human life. Whether it is by preventing implantation or abortion of an implanted fetus it ends a human life.
@ormom And although you're correct about blastocysts implanting, you are again wrong by definition that a zygote is only a single cell -- it occurs when the initial cell starts dividing.
@ormom Nonsense. Pregnancy, by definition, begins at implantation. And the MAP only works in the first 72 hours -- look it up. If pregnancy starts at fertilization, what about all those fertilized eggs in test tubes and freezers? Maybe Anna will let you borrow her dictionary.
@badcat
Anna's not the only one who needs to brush up on biology. The morning after pill, by preventing implantation of the blastocyst or embryo, which may be as much as 7-10 days old at the time of implantation, most certainly does end a pregnancy which technically begins at fertilization. Zygotes are still a single cell and don't ever implant, btw.
@AndyP This isn't the first time Anna has posted stories about reproduction that are medically inaccurate. I recall her claiming that the morning-after pill causes a pregnancy to end, instead of preventing zygote implantation. She needs to take a high school health class if she's going to cover such topics. Pretty sad to report on surrogacy and not know the difference between artificial insemination and embryo implantation.
@badcat Jeez I don't know, but I couldn't make heads nor tails out of either story.  It's almost like this woman could have said, "A couple from China who I don't really know did something with some woman that I also don't know that doesn't impact me in any way and boy, am I upset."  I'll give up scratching my head/wondering and chalk this up to "I don't care either".  =)Â
Boo-hoo - I pr0stituted myself and put my baby up for sale, poor me :(Â
(curious to see if they delete this comment again...)
@WTFWTF It wasn't her baby. She was only carrying it for the couple.
@WTFWTFÂ Maybe this will help it stay.
When did this act gain the sort of legitimacy that allows the actor to complain about anything?
@Lo Pan if she had a 2-year-old kid and tried to sell him/her, she'd be arrested, but somehow this is OK.