'There's not rules for widowers:' A mother and wife remembered

'There's not rules for widowers:' A mother and wife remembered »Play Video
From left, Robert, Jenna and Hunter Yuille.

It's been one year since the shooting at Clackamas Town Center. Join KATU News this evening at 4, 5 and 6 p.m. for a look back and complete coverage of the candlelight vigil at the mall.

Cindy Yuille's family's tragic death at Clackamas Town Center was the reason Emily Sinovic met and interviewed her family. But during the course of the past year,  Cindy's husband Robert, her daughter Jenna and her son Hunter have welcomed Sinovic into their home and shared painful but powerful moments during their fight to survive without her.

"Their grace and kindness in spite of their unimaginable grief is something I will never forget and forever feel fortunate for witnessing," Sinovic said.

Now, one year after Cindy's murder, her family remembers her in their own words:

CINDY'S DAUGHTER JENNA

"We're  at this point now where she's been gone a year - it's a real thing now. She's not coming back. For me, it almost forces me to acknowledge that it's a real thing and it's so ... it's so strange.  At first it was just in shock and everything you do is just trying to survive another day. What do you do next? How do you go on?"

"I thought for sure by then things would be a lot more normal, we'd be missing her a lot less. And nothing really changed. Which is odd."

"The whole idea of an official funeral or burial for me, is something I'm not really ready to accept. For me, it's very final. It's another mark of saying this person is dead, they're not coming back. It's something I just don't want to accept yet. I find myself now wanting to hang on to everything I can from her."

CINDY'S SON HUNTER

"There's going to be a part in everybody's life where everybody will feel loss and people think, before they have that loss they think there's going to be a time when we're just going to get over it.  But, like Dad said, it's not going to end really. I wake up pretty much every morning, but many times don't even want to get out of bed."

CINDY'S HUSBAND ROBERT

"For me, closure is you've got to move on kind of thing. Never forget her, she'll always be with us, but … we have lives. We have to take care of each other. We have to keep going. "

"You can't just stay a mourning widower all the time, but what are you going to do? There are no rules. I've been looking up to see what rules there are … what widowers do. There's not rules for widowers.What do you  do with a wedding ring? How long does a widower wear a wedding ring? That's the $10,000 dollar question. When do you stop when do you get over it?  I don't think you do. I don't think you stop."

Remembering the Clackamas Town Center shooting