Boise mother speaks out: 'I love my son but he terrifies me'

I blame psychiatric drugs. L Ron Hubbard was right.  

Seems to me this problem has grown exponentially since the advent of the "Single Parent Household". Some kids are just too much for a single person to handle, and sooner or later this problem gets dumped on society.

Where is dad/husband? Not one, but three kids with no spouse? No wonder she's at the end of her rope!

 

I will say it, and suffer the backlash, THIS KID NEEDED A SPANKING! Not on the day "it" happened, or the day before, or the day after, not at the age of 13, or 12, or 10... but a long, long time ago.

 

Do spankings instill morals? No. Do spankings help to cure chemical imbalances? No.

 

So what do spankings do? Spankings create this tidy little dendrite connection between "If I wave a knife around with my hand, my hiney will soon be hurting." And, "If I don't get my pajamas on, my hiney soon be hurting." And, "If I threaten/try to jump out of this moving car, my hiney will soon be hurting."

 

But you say that spankings are barbaric and inhumane assault? Well, what do you call pumping akids body full of Thorazine and Xanax?

 

 

I think the first thing we should be doing to prevent this kind of thing is pretty simple.

Spend time with your Kids at all ages.

Cut the Sugar and Fast food.

Feed them in a healthy way.

Parent them.

Get rid of Video Games and TV and make them play outside.

Make them Read.

Try not to pump them full of drugs.

Give them a reason to have a sense of worth.

Educate them.

I'm going to make a judgment call here.  This mom wants her kid to swallow a magic pill and everything to be better, it seems like.  If she's worried about him being ADHD (which falls on the spectrum) why doesn't she see a therapist that specializes in that sort of disorder?  Before we got my son on his detoxifying regimen those tantrums she describes were all too common place with my kiddo, too--and now we rarely have them, and they're like a shadow of what they used to be.  No, the supplements are not cheap--but if they give your child a new, productive lease on life--then WHY NOT?

 

We live in a society where the only solution anyone has to mental illness is to throw medication at it, rather than as she said, treat the actual underlying pathology.  It's tragic, but when you have a person who commits her son to a mental hospital and writes "I need help" under expectations for treatment--but obviously doesn't want to do the leg work herself?  Well, then--what do you expect?  We live in a society where rather than taking the bull by the horns and addressing the real issues--we blog about it and post it on FB for sympathy and to "reaffirm" our good parenting, when honestly--most people in this day and age parent like crap.  They want children, as long as those children don't interfere with FB, twitter, tv, and other time.  When they do--medicate them, and wonder why the situation gets worse.

 

It is a shame that society allows individuals with mental illness to fall through the cracks.  It's even more shameful when the parents of those children choose to allow it to happen and rather than educating themselves and advocating for their charges.  "Prison is where society sends its failures.  But what to do when society itself is failing?"

Wonder who we can thank for the VAST lack of help for the mentally Ill ??

 

"Conventional wisdom suggests that the reduction of funding for social welfare policies during the 1980s is the result of a conservative backlash against the welfare state. With such a backlash, it should be expected that changes in the policies toward involuntary commitment of the mentally ill reflect a generally conservative approach to social policy more generally. In this case, however, the complex of social forces that lead to less restrictive guidelines for involuntary commitment are not the result of conservative politics per se, but rather a coalition of fiscal conservatives, law and order Republicans, relatives of mentally ill patients, and the practitioners working with those patients. Combined with a sharp rise in homelessness during the 1980s, Ronald Reagan pursued a policy toward the treatment of mental illness that satisfied special interest groups and the demands of the business community, but failed to address the issue: the treatment of mental illness"

 

Thanks uncle ronny !

 

http://www.sociology.org/content/vol003.004/thomas.html

Sorry don't like how people are painting Autism.  I have a friend with an Autistic Cousin.  I have another Friend with an Autistic Brother and I have another friend with an Autistic Son.  All of which are great kids.  This moms post about her son should go a lot deeper then "im afraid of my son or what my son might do"  it should be about the fact that this mother can not handle her child and is obviously unable and to tired to handle her son and she should get help for herself and learn how to deal with a child who is Autistic.Autism does not allow for premeditated acts of violence.  Often times they do not know what is going on.  Comparing him to the CT shooter is unfair.  The CT shooter obviously knew enough that he tried to destroy his hard drive and went into the school with a plan of attack going into the principles office then moving on to his mother classroom.. Prior to all this murdering his mother in the home.  There is nothing here showing that he did not know what he was doing.This is really a sad story all the way around but to give those who are Autistic a bad name is just down right sad.  Before people go thinking that people should be weary of autism perhaps people should first educate themselves. 

-I had a pottery teacher who was the artist-in-residence for a city I lived in who was murdered by her mentally ill older teen son. 

-I had an apt mngr. who had a mentally ill 20 yr old son whom she was trying to "heal from his demons" by her and her "church" praying for him. The police were not amused by this and we tenants were terrified and frequently calling the police due to his increasing psychotic violence on the property.He finally was hospitalized...for a short stay then released, medicated. That did not last and they all finally moved on.

-One of my friends lives with bars on doors and windows and a security system  in their home since the nephew has threatened to murder them all over and over. There is no hospital, halfway house or anywhere that will take him until he gets thrown in jail for the hundredth time due to his violence. 

-I have two cousins somewhere on the streets of Seattle ( last heard) who roam  about very mentally ill but since they are adults cannot be hospitalized by the family so we don't know if they are alive or dead. One has brain injury from a car wreck as well and is a vulnerable female.

I could keep going with the stories; it is shocking how many there are and how almost  everyone you know has a connection to a severely mentally ill person it seems.

I wish there were still facilities to keep mentally ill people more safe and also a way to get help for the ticking time bomb mentally ill as well. This is just horrible what has become of there being no help for them. The situation has long ago become untenable.

I get what Liz is saying.  I too have a son that when he was young, he was so out of control that it would be 2-3 trips a week to the school to pick him up from staff who had him in a four-point hold and/or or the class emptied out. I had him in and out of mental health facilities, psychiatrists offices, on different medications and nothing worked. I would sit listening to him scream at the top of his lung for hours on end. It was any reason the neighbors didn't call the police thinking I was beating the child. I would sit in another room balling my eyes out wondering why this child was so tortured and having that feeling of helplessness. I then discovered I had to have cancer surgery and knew I couldn't care for him during my recovery nor could my family. I voluntarily gave up custody to the state and he went into foster care. At the first time that he said he wanted to die, children's services stepped in and had him committed to a home that specialized in kids like my son. I made frequent visits, which started out rough and got easier. He learned to manage his anger, and we went through family counseling. It was the beginning of a turn around for my son. Today my son is 26, and while he is not a perfect person, he is high functioning and responsible. I'm very proud of the kind of person he turned out to be. There was a time, I thought I was going to have to let go of him, and there were a lot of hard decisions I had to make, and he could have gone down a totally different path, but he is a good man, and I'm happy he turned out to be a good person.

When I was 10-14 I was a nightmare. My parents were negligent and abusive - and I learned how to be angry. When did that change for me? When I felt a sense of worth.

 

Kids need love, structure, discipline and yes, sometimes medication. But how often do you hear people question a child's need to feel self worth? Where does that even come from? If children are left in front of a tv or video game all day, do you really think they will feel any sense of pride, value or personal accomplishment? Those are some of the things that REALLY get us to where we need to go. Sports, hobbies, scouts - all things that help children feel like they have support and feel a sense of accomplishment.

 

Hell even as an adult... I would be miserable if my entire world was work and sleep; just like adults need more - kids need more too.

let the kid where what he wants...hes expressing his artful individualism.   not unlike the grown ups in pdx walkin round with 17 to 24 tatoos and 47 piercings.    hahahahaha

Anarchist soccer mom shouldn't put her child's photo on the internet. There were a spectrum of out of control kids when I went to school. Surely her kid needs some special attention. I would start by not having cable TV or fantasy games at your house at all. Make a big stack of books available, and avoid a struggle by having a small TV with rabbit ears in a family room (they'll run out of shows) and if you aren't close to a playground, allow them Wii with only a dance game and golf only. You can cognitively retrain aggressive personalities to mellow out a bit by removing agitation in their environment.

If  folks truly want to go to work on something that actually may help stem the tide of shootings and the implosion of the criminal justice system, the mental health system would be an excellent place to start. 

 

Arrest them, and put them in the system isn't working. It never has. 

 

Of course, it begs the question of 'when does obstinance become a mental health issue'?

A lack of application of parental discipline leads to this kind of behavior! Hate to use the old saying, but spare the rod and spoil the child! Some parents just have to keep looking around for what may have caused a behavioral problem, when what they need to do is look in the mirror for the one mostly responsible! 

A disiplined sport like Karate or any other of the marital arts will teach disipline and respect and self-control.

check it out!

Is there any history of medication for behavioral problems?

We had state hospitals in the 70's, but they emptied them due to budgetary concerns...no one seems to be happier for it

I wonder where / from whom did he learned to cuss???

It is very sad but this child isn't just mean..can you imagine how miserable he is?

 

A kid with those issues needs to be in mental hospital that is focusing on child psychiatric issues. This kind of behavior is way beyond the normal parents' ability to deal with a child who is that severely mentally ill. The kid is a danger to himself and others. 

What is happening to so many children? Why is Autism epidemic? Why is Type I Diabetes increasing rapidly? Why are more and more children being diagnosed with ADD & ADHA.  Think about it and see what ideas you come up with, something is toxic to our children. I have my own ideas of which people would probably say I am crazy..but I wonder about those little tiny bodies getting all those vaccines so young and what heavy metals are in them.