Past the Tipping Point: Standing for respect: Students tell stories of bullying, suicide
GRESHAM, Ore. – Young students, some not even teenagers yet, stood before their peers Thursday at Gordon Russell Middle School and talked about bullying and suicide.
Their words were raw, emotional and real, and it was a conversation that has really come to light since KATU News first reported on a recent cluster of suicides in the Battle Ground School District in the state of Washington.
Since then, several local districts have stepped up to make this issue a priority.
Bullying and suicide are issues that are undeniably connected, but it is rare kids look their peers in the face and have an open and honest conversation about being hurt by others’ words and actions.
"They sat and wondered: am I really not wanted? Should I really die?" said one eighth-grader. "They felt so alone and confused. Then the story took a heart-wrenching turn: they tried suicide," she said.
Students at the middle school called their assembly "Stand for Respect."
Some even shared real, private details like that eighth grader who eventually confessed the story wasn't about any teen.
"These words are painful to read and equally difficult to hear, the voice spoken aloud," she said. "Why? You probably guessed it: This is my story."
Kids in the audience listened and some cried, along with parents who were there, especially when the older brother of 14-year-old Eden Wormer, a Cascade Middle School student in Vancouver, spoke. Eden committed suicide last March. She was a cutter and her brother regrets the last thing he said to her.
"After we got her counseling and everything like that, we thought things were good," he said. "I was joking with her and I said I wished my front lawn was like her so I'd never have to cut it again."
The point of all these heart-breaking messages: "You want to be kind to those around you," Eden's brother said. "Because guess what, one day, you're gonna need help. Everybody does."
In that way all of the students can move on with their bright futures, and "we can all choose to create a different ending to the story," the eighth-grader said. "And it begins right here and right now."
The principal of the school said he could've brought in professionals to talk to the kids about bullying and suicide, but he wanted the students to do the talking instead.
Resources for youth:
- Mind Your Mind: A non-profit dedicated to providing reliable information for youth dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicide. The site contains youth-specific resources, tips for coping with mental illness issues, and the personal stories of youth who have experienced and overcome these issues.
- Reach Out: A website for youth, by youth, with information on how to help yourself or a friend who is thinking about suicide. Allows youth to share their stories about overcoming depression and suicide in an online, supportive environment.
- We Can Help Us: A collection of videos made by real teens who have gone through a variety of different challenges and overcome them. Also allows other youth to share their own stories in a supportive environment.
- The Trevor Project: A website dedicated to helping LGBTQ youth dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicide. Also operates a 24-hour crisis hotline, 1-866-4-U-TREVOR.
- The Jed Foundation: A resource for college students containing information about depression and anxiety among college students, and information about how to get help at school.
- Metanoia.org: An online resource that offers information about how to find and contact a therapist, and how to make sure your therapist is right for you. Also offers resources for connecting to a therapist online for 'e-therapy'.
- Teen forum on suicide being held in Battle Ground
Resources for parents:
- Association for Behavioral Cognitive Therapies: Offers information for parents about childhood mental health issues and advice on finding the best treatment for you and your family.
- Lok-It-Up: A campaign to promote the safe storage of firearms. Offers advice on how to safely store firearms and prevent teen firearm suicide.
- ASK Campaign: A website dedicated to gun safety. Information about firearm deaths and tips for preventing your children from gun violence.
Resources for Educators:
- Evergreen Education Association: The Evergreen Education Association is holding a "Diversity and Social Justice Conference" in February with a session that will focus on suicide prevention.
I'm going to go counter to PCthink.
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We are trying to raise kids in a sterile environment that is counter to human nature and the real world yet, still try to bolster their self-esteem.
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Real life doesn't work that way. Self-esteem must be earned.
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Bullying has always been around and it always will be. The only thing a bully really understands is a good a**whipping.
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The bullied person can either ignore it, suck it up or render the needed correction of said bully. Either way, he/she learns early on how to deal with adversity.
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Hate to break to some of you but, adversity and bullying happen in the real world.
Any suicide is tragic. Ban bullying, ban this, ban that, ban the other thing, this will not go away. We live in an imperfect world. Kids get bullied at school and then go home and get beat up again on social media. Kids need to wise up and quit looking for hurt, you don't have to. Kids are cruel and they build their self esteem by tearing down others. Even the kids who condemn bullying at one time or another said or did something that could be considered bullying. There are no easy solutions to this and probably is not solvable. Teen angst is as old as time and thanks to texting and the internet anyone can reach out and hate someone from anywhere on earth.
@The Resistance Because it's what Jesus would do right???
Why does Katu insist on claiming they started the whole suicide discussion. Â They throw that in to every article now "oh by the way this started because of the stories we wrote about Battle Ground." Â
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P.S. plenty of kids get bullied and don't kill themselves. Â Get over it.
@beeemdubya Plenty of kids get bullied and don't kill themselves. Get over it.
Did they get over it??
i was there it was awesome i cry'd for at least ten minutes
 @Christopher James Campbell Hey Chris, I cried all day after it, and still was bullied, like right after it was over..... xc
Wow... I'm a sophomore in HS now, but went to this middle school. Sounds like a super powerful message, and I'm glad all the "anti-bullying" programs that started when I was there are still being done and improved, like this one!
Treat others as you would like to be treated. It's the Golden Rule - no matter what school you go to.Â
 @washcomom Be sure to tell that to the bullies. It's not the victims that need the lesson.
If a young person commits suicide, I think there is more to it than being bullied.  There has to be other problems they are trying to deal with, apparently, without any luck.  I personally knew two fourteen year old kids who committed suicide.  Neither were bullied.  One did it because his girlfriend broke up with him.  The other had threatened to do it several times when he didn't get his way at home.  One day he just went too far and it was too late to save him.  Neither reason is good enough for one to take their own life.  Kids don't seem to realize that  friends and families will eventually get over it, but the victim is gone forever.  I am very glad that I am not a teenager.  I grew up in the fifties and sixties, a much better time, safer time, and apparently a much happier time.  Of course that was a time when people dealt with each other one on one, not on the internet.  Now the cowards can hide behind their computer.  Some day, technology will enable us to see who is hiding behind that computer and there will be hell to pay.
 @Shadow There is never ANY "good reason" to commit suicide. (aside from an end-stage terminal illness that is unbearable)
Many of us grew up in the fifties and sixties and it was not all peachy for many kids for some of the reasons listed in my previous post on this thread, let alone where one might have grown up and the poverty level one's family was in (i.e. ghettos)
But no one really knows what is inside the suicidal person's mind, except that it isn't working properly and this is often brought on from extended stress.  Teens are in a sensitive stage of development which can lend itself to dramatic choices while still  their mind is still engaging in the black-and-white, either-or thinking pattern of children.Â
 @whirledworld  @Shadow All I can say is for every year Obama has been in office, suicide rates have increased.
@TreeWizard So tree wizz why is that???
 And let us remember there are many, many kids who CANNOT even begin to tell their parents what is going on because their parents are one of the main reasons (if not the ONLY reason) they are suicidal in the first place: abused kids, incested/sexually abused kids, neglected kids, kids of families in religious groups that are cultish,  intolerant or abusive and above the law,  kids of drunks and druggies  who have to live in that environment, and kids of constantly changing sex partners of their parents cruising in and out the revolving door or parents with domestic violence issues... all with dysfunctional incapable  parents and no real help to get away from it all to a better home life. Why? Because  they  have heard horror stories about foster care, they don't wan to lose friends and siblings, they don't want to get abused further for making allegations of abuse and not getting rescued from it...and they have not been believed or responded to in any meaningfully helpful way when they have tried to get help. I hope there will be more places a kid can get help with or without family support.
Bullying doesn't just come from peers. Suicidal teens can struggle along and dance on the razor's edge even if they are well-liked at school because for some,  their home lives are a living inescapable  and annihilating hell.Â
Bullying and suicide are issues that are undeniably connected, but it is rare kids look their peers in the face and have an open and honest conversation about being hurt by othersâ words and actions.
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This is what is needed, bring to light the problems, from the kids point of view. Make them all aware of what is going on. Sharing the stories hopefully will wake up the bullies. Hopefully it will wake up everyone to look around them, to see what is happening. Some are able to handle the bullies, and some are not. Better that those who can handle them, help those who can't.
Good job on the part of the school!
"The principal of the school said he could've brought in professionals to talk to the kids about bullying and suicide, but he wanted the students to do the talking instead." Â (from the story)
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I think the principal hit on a VERY critical point...and made an excellent decision... Â It's all too easy to just keep on having adults talk to the kids; but what we NEED to do is LISTEN to them... REALLY listen...Â
These topics ~ bullying and teen suicides ~ Â get shoved into dark closets and under the rugs all too often...nobody wants to admit that it even happens... Â Perhaps hauling these subjects out into the light of day will help get dialogues started; let at-risk kids know that they are NOT alone... and perhaps get some help to them BEFORE they end up being just another suicide statistic. Â Â