Oregon woman caught in 2 'catfishing' scams, loses nearly $30k
ALOHA, Ore. – With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, plenty of people are thinking about love. But how do you know if your online valentine is the real thing or someone more sinister?
Football star Manti Te’o isn’t the only one who has been hooked in these so-called “catfish” schemes. Consider the story of Nancy, an Aloha woman who has been baited by scammers twice, costing her nearly $30,000. (We’re not publishing Nancy’s last name to protect her privacy.)
At age 62, Nancy’s personal life was not playing out the way she had hoped. After two divorces, she was alone and praying for answers. She seemed to find them in a man she met online and later decided to marry.
“It felt real because he was coming to see me,” she said. “It felt like he loved me and he was coming to see me. Of course, he never showed up.”
Nancy joined eHarmony last year and was immediately wooed by men on the dating site.
“I was taken, totally,” she said.
A man from California named Daniel stood out from the rest.
“I had a picture of him and he looked like a model,” Nancy remembered.
A widower, Daniel was ten years younger than Nancy. He traded gems as a hobby.
He also wrote Nancy passionate love letters describing storybook scenes of them getting caught in the rain, going on twilight horseback rides and then getting married.
Taken by his charm, Nancy said yes, she would marry Daniel.
They planned to meet at Portland International Airport, but first he had to take a trip to London. Daniel said he was planning to buy $10,000 worth of precious gems and sell them for a profit.
That’s when the story took a turn away from the storybook narrative. Daniel wrote from London and said he had been robbed while at the airport.
“Everything was stolen. His cash, his cell phone, everything,” Nancy said. “He needed money. So I took money out of my 401k, as much as I could, and sent it to him.”
She sent Daniel $10,000 to buy more gemstones and bring them back to sell. He said if she helped buy the stones, he could help buy her dream house.
But Daniel’s troubles at the airport continued. He managed to buy the gemstones, but customs stopped him for not having the proper paperwork. He said he needed more money.
Nancy took out cash advances on her credit cards – about $4,000 worth – and sent it to Daniel in London.
“I got involved. I felt I would do anything for this person,” Nancy said.
The last she heard from Daniel he was asking for more money, this time for a London lawyer. That’s when the story finally unraveled.
The man she knew as Daniel was really a scam artist who had used someone else’s name and picture. He spun a web of words to make her think she was Juliet and he was her Romeo.
“I really feel dumb,” Nancy said. “I have tears in my eyes because now I feel stupid.”
Nancy’s heart was broken, but she didn’t give up on online dating. A few months after Daniel, she was back online and met another man.
But unlike Daniel, this man seemed more like a real human being.
“He was older,” she explained. “I thought he wouldn’t do this to me.”
His name was Donald and he said he was 70 years old. They began to build a relationship online.
“Some of it got kind of sexual, how much he wanted to love me,” Nancy said.
The online lovers were going to meet in person, again at PDX. But like Daniel, Donald said he had to go overseas first. He was needed in Egypt to help finish a contracting job.
He said he needed money for equipment, which she sent. Then he promised he was heading to Portland.
“I went to the airport. Nobody showed up,” Nancy said. “He had trouble. The travel agent gave him the wrong boarding pass and he ended up in Dubai.”
Donald then sent an email saying he was stuck at customs and needed money.
But having been burned before, she thought there was no way she was caught in another scam. She borrowed and sent $14,000 to Donald.
“I felt like he was coming soon and he would pay me back and it would be all right,” Nancy said. “Then loans started being due and I was very much in trouble.”
Nancy started digging online and found the real Donald on Facebook. The scammer had stolen his identity. For Nancy, her desperate need for love had twice robbed her of her judgment and her money.
“After having a marriage that failed, not feeling loveable at all, I guess that’s why I fell victim,” she said. “I felt, ‘oh, somebody does love me.’”
Nancy’s story shows you some of the tactics that scammers use. They often pretend to be in the military, stationed overseas. They also commonly pretend to be widowers or widows with international connections.
They often steal a real person’s identity, so if you check up on them online, they look real.
The scammers pretend to see deeply into your soul and fall in love quickly. They may say that fate or God has brought you together. They are eager to drop everything and move to where you are. They make plans to meet, but those plans always disintegrate and the money troubles begin.
Here are some points to check if you decide to start an online relationship:
- Ask detailed questions about where they claim to live. Do they take a long time to respond because they are looking up the answers online?
- Do they try to get you to move to instant messaging right away?
- Do they “fall in love” within a day or two?
- Check their picture and love letters to see if they were actually lifted from somewhere else. You can try checking their pictures at tineye.com, and look for their letters and poems at lovingyou.com. Or, simply type parts of their letters into a search engine and see what comes up.
- Call them on the phone. Is there a lot of background noise on the call and does the person have a strong accent? Do they avoid phone calls?
- Watch their words. Do they use old-fashioned language and/or have trouble with English, though they claim to be from the United States?
- Do they ask you for money?
You can read more about online dating scams at romancescams.com. You can also report online crimes through the Internet Crime Complaint Center.
Millions of people get emails saying they've won the grand prize in a foreign lottery or they can collect hundreds of thousands of dollars if they help some poor soul with hidden money get it out of Nigeria. But only a few of the millions who get these emails respond and become victims. Same goes for romance scams. Sometimes I respond to the emails to pretend they've got a fish on the line just to frustrate the scammers and take up their time. No, what happened to Nancy isn't something that happens to all of us.
It sure is easy to sit here in judge people who are hurt in any way by "Catfish". These people are many times not mentally ill, stupid, lonely, naive, ignorant, foolish, etc. as many of you are portraying them to be. These are normal every day people like you and me. It is easy for you and I to sit here and judge someone when you have not been in their shoes. If most of you could go back and read your judgmental comments later, you SHOULD be more embarrassed than most victims should feel about being "baited". The lack of mentality and knowledge is astounding. These predators don't get to where they are by "half @ssed" charming their victims or by lying their way into their lives. These predators are the equivalent of primed child molesters. They groom their victims. They befriend them, give their victim every reason to trust them, they prey upon the victims weaknesses, etc. They are PRO'S at what they do. Once they gain the victims respect and trust...at any point the victim begins to throw up any red flags...it is easy for the predator to give their victim a guilt trip by reminding the victim of how much trust they have put into them and all they have done for them...how dare they question their loyalty to them (especially of there is someone else there to back that person up). The victim feels cornered as if they have now done something wrong. The victim is now apologizing for having doubts that they had every right to have. The predator now has the upper hand to use more lies to cover up the original lies to keep his/her game going to keep the victim under their thumb. It is a vicious cycle. NEVER think for a second that YOU would NEVER fall for this.Â
I am a very conservative type person who has never felt I needed a man in my life. I have never used a dating site to get a date. I have made fun of friends and family who have used them. I am quite comfortable being alone. I'm actually rather set in my ways by age 43 and am ok with being alone so either way is fine by me. But on and off for eight years I found myself "baited" by a predator. But before you call ME mentally ill, lonely, stupid, foolish, dumb, naive, etc. I will tell you this...for the first six years - not once did he ever ask me for a single penny, nor did I give him a single penny. It was not about money. We were not the type of people to sit there and sex it up on cam and talk about what we were going to do nor were we the phone sex type. We truly did have a relationship that was I'd say 80% friendship. We had what was built on a strong solid friendship...SO I THOUGHT. He was not your typical jerky guy wanting to talk about sex or trying to mooch money. So after all the lies were found out after eight years...I still have not found out WHY he lied. He won't tell me WHY he lied. There doesn't seem to be an excuse as to WHY he lied about his identity. So as you are sitting there trashing me the way you trash the woman in the article...I will tell you that several years ago, I would have been sitting here with you all saying the very same things, being a hypocrite. I would be talking about what a bunch of loons these people are. How pathetic they are. They need to get a life. They must be hard up. How naive. Go see a psychiatrist. Get a life!Â
But now having gone through it...let me tell you: ZIP IT. SHUT THE PIE HOLE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND IT FIRST HAND. UT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. NOT BY A LONG SHOT. THIS COULD BE YOU. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. DON'T EVER SAY IT COULDN'T. I GUARANTEE IT COULD. THIS IS A GAME PLAYED BY PREDATORS WHO GET OFF ON CONTROLLING THEIR PREY. THEY ARE PRO'S. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. THE VICTIMS AREN'T BLIND. THEY AREN'T STUPID. THEY AREN'T NAIVE. THEY ARE VICTIMS. YOU COULD BE TOMORROWS VICTIM. HAVE SOME COMPASSION. THERE'S ENOUGH HATE IN THIS WORLD AS IT IS. STOP ADDING TO IT. GOD BLESS.
(I'm posting this under the ID he used for 8 years to talk to me under on Yahoo...since I was "stupid" enough to gank it from him so he couldn't screw anyone else over with it. He will have to come up with a new name to ruin someone elses life.)
I saw this last night on television. I have to say I thought Nancy was plenty cute and I don't see why she isn't just meeting a fellow in real life at the library or church or something. Nancy, get out there and talk to people in real time...there is a nice guy out there and you won't have to pay thousands to secure his affection. Ask someone out for coffee! Lots of (older) guys would be interested in a nice lady like you.
In looking for love, we can that people are by the biggest part givers and want to believe what others are saying, however.. like anything we need to protect ourselves first and foremost. In this day and age of people meeting on the internet scams can and will happen. It is up to us to set limits on what we do for people. Even on other social networking sights the first thing I put is NO I will not send you money, second, if you don't know me then you can't love me.. and my favorite is no you can not have my phone number/im/or address... you have to lay the law down first... that is what I do on any network.. Â
Loneliness can be terrible and disabling !
It's tough to want love so bad you will do anything for it. Nancy has a big heart and is generous beyond belief. To bad there are people in this world that are just takers. I can only hope that some day these people get hunted down and punished in a not to legal way.
Fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice... Well what can anyone say?
I have zero sympathy. Â Some people just ask to be scammed. Â
Need to borrow money??.......my name is not First RobC Bank. There are companies that do that........go see them. And don't call me ever again ! For those of you who can't figure out why not to lend money to family, friends and strangers...... Write this down and tape it to your forehead.
 @Rob C 503 I've 'loaned' money to both family and friends.  I've always gone into it assuming that THEY call it a loan but I've secretly considered it money gone.  Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised, sometimes not.  Most odd to me is that those who owe you money always seem to come up with (as in 'fabricate') some wrong you've done to them so they can act all mad when you ask for repayment.  And yes, that includes family. Â
I don't think this woman is stupid or mentally ill. Â Her body language indicates a shyness, IMO, and I find her to be naive, gullible and lonely -- I guess if you've never felt that way maybe you don't know for sure how you'd react. Â While it's not something I'd ever do, she's got some brass to lay herself open to the public ridicule I've seen here in order to prevent this from happening to someone else. Â I applaud her for going completely out of her comfort zone to tell a story that needs to be told. Â Â
@Sundowner thank you for your words that convey an ability to empathize. Most of us were born with a longing for belonging. Some have been so wounded by others and that longing so starved that it overwhelms common sense. Your words demonstrate unconditional kindness for all those our "savvy" culture would quickly dismiss.
 @Sundowner Lack of common sense should be included. Too many scams going on these days to not be cautious, especially when it's someone she didn't know.
 @scoreboard True....and I still admire her for also showing her lack of common sense in public.  As I said, she's got brass.  And I've learned that we all can gain from hearing another's personal experience whether we think we're smarter than them or not. Â
The tone of the comments I've read so far is pretty harsh. It sounds like Nancy is guilty of something many of us are... just wanting to be loved. She came forward with her story in hopes of helping someone else, to keep them from making the same mistakes she's made. I'm not so old and jaded that I no longer have a heart, so a part of my heart is sad for Nancy, that someone took advantage of her this way. Stupid? I don't think so. Gullible, maybe. Wanting to believe the best about people? Yes.Why is everyone so mean about this story?
@AmiM you are so right on. I applaud Nancy for leading with courage and compassion to warn those who might otherwise be so cruelly taken advantage of. I admire her selfless concern for others. Way to go Nancy.
 @AmiM That's true but in this day and age in which their are so many scams going on, people need to extra cautious, especially with dealing with someone they don't know.
People are so lonely and desperate, they will fall for anything!   They want that darn fairy tale life that they over look the obvious!Â
eHarm many
Twice divorced. Were the grounds "she's too stupid"?
@Old29 I hope you never have to know such pain.
I do stupid things, make mistakes l regret. This story made me feel better, because I know I'm not anywhere near as stupid as this woman was. I'd say live and learn, but she did the same thing twice? Don't have much hope for this poor lady.
I know it must have been embarrassing for Nancy to come forward with her story. Hopefully others will learn from her story!Â
did he ask if she liked Pina Colada's
What a desperate and "stupid" woman to give money so freely.
@Oh My....I know...hard to believe.....what's her number?
Once, maybe. Twice? No! And the same stuck at the airport on the way to see her scam! Probably the same guy!
If you really want to meet someone cool, meet them in person. Go out in the world and don't sit behind the computer or iphone or whatever you use. I did this and got blown away by what I found (a wife). Now I am back behind the computer once again, but no longer am looking.
A couple of trite but true statements come to mind: (based on the statement - "he looked like a model,â) if it appears too good to be true, it probably is. And; fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
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She must have watched the TV insurance ad that says, "they can't put it on the Internet if it isn't true".
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use Skype
Or a brain.
Here's the other clue for this woman that this was scam: the romantic whooings. I would be suspicious of any man talking to me like that especially online. I've never met a man that talked like that if he was for real.
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I also like the Crown Royal bag that Kerry Tomlinson is using for her gemstone props!Â
 @leapfrogger I like how it's really a bag of pretty rocks, and that KATU sent their crew to the airport just for this stupid story of a stupid woman.
I cannot feel sorry for any person who continues to fall for this garbage! Quite being so naive, pathetic and stupid. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is......memorize it, live by it!
You have to be kidding me. This is a joke right? People are really this stupid?
Yes, people really are this stupid.. and, in some cases, even more so.
Would be interesting to know if it was the same guy both times...I am betting it was.
 @FreedomRocks I thought the same thing. A scam artist wouldn't want to let an easy mark like that get away. I hope they catch the person or people who took advantage of her generosity.
 @Cindy Rickard  @FreedomRocksÂ
They will not catch these folks. They are in a foreign county, most likely, Nigeria which is why they are called 419 scams which is the law against committing these scams in Nigeria. Ironically they are very popular there in spite of the law and has a whole culture built up around it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigerian_scam
This lady must have had daily fluoride as a child.
 @Sasha Birdsdale I don't understand. How do you know she has good teeth?
"(Weâre not publishing Nancyâs last name to protect her privacy.)"
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No, but KATU is plastering her face and video all over the world through the Internet. Some privacy protection, eh?Â
The money aside, not mentioned in the story, or any of the comments: Use your webcam on your laptop lady!!
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It was amusing to watch the video of her pointing out the email conversations on her laptop, and the elephant in room (read: built in 1.3-2.0 megapixel webcam) is staring her right in the face. Even it was KATU's laptop, it's 2013, a dirt cheap webcam is $5. It never crossed her mind to want to Skype this guy? *FACEPALM*
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It's maddening how inept people are with technology- simple plug and play technology.
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"Oregon woman caught in 2 'catfishing' scams, loses nearly $30k"
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Change the headline. She didn't "lose" $30K, she gave it away ... stupidly.
Way to show compassion people......
If I may be allowed to speak for some..
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We're sorry.
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Can we slap some sense into her now?
When people want to borrow money, first of all say NO! If you feel you have to do the loan, get a contract signed that will stand up in court. Since you are putting your money at risk, you desrve interest, lots of it. Quadruple collateral is a good idea, with it becomming yours after a set time. Fingerprints should be part of the document. Would be borrowers will lose interest in your money this way. PS- I wish I had followed my own advice.
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 @gunnutz I owe you a buck. You owe me a new pair of eyes, though. lol.
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 @gunnutz  @Lips Indeed... lol.
This sounds like something my mom would do. Some people are very desperate, gullible, and way too trusting of other people's good intentions. My mom did a lot of online dating after her 2nd husband passed away, and she did meet real people, some good and some bad, but there was this one guy from Canada she started getting hot and steamy with online, and he was going to come and visit her in person, and then one day one of his family members (or who claimed to be a family member) emailed her and said they guy had died tragically. Sound familiar? She still believes the guy actually died, I think I know the real story. I don' t know if he got any money from her, because she would be too prideful to admit to that. But shortly thereafter she had to move in with her sister in Connecticut because she was broke...