Is sex addiction for real? One man says yes

PORTLAND, Ore. - Several red carpet stars have revealed their sex addiction, including Tiger Woods who reportedly entered rehab after his high-profile sex scandals.

But is it for real or is it just a cop-out? One Portland man, who doesn’t want to be identified, says it’s for real.

He says he’s been living life in a 12-step program for two years and right now goes to Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings twice a week.

“I’d say the majority of people in the program hit bottom,” he says.

For him, he says sex addiction started in his teens with obsession for porn; he even stole it just to get a fix. During his 26-year marriage, he went to strip clubs, sneaking out each month and spending a third of the family’s income on strippers.

Later he added prostitutes - three to four a week at his peak.

“I no longer have control over my sexuality; it’s gotten control over me,” he says.

He also says he spent entire days in chat rooms looking for random encounters. Additionally, he says he had three long-term affairs.

“I kept seeking out encounters to validate myself, ‘Oh yeah, someone does want me.’”

He estimates spending upwards of $40,000 pursuing sex over the years which put him on the edge of financial crisis.

Ultimately, he lost his wife and his job as a minister.

“We hit a point where our behavior became so shaming to us regardless of others; it’s not as though we revealed anything but inside of us we were living with guilt with recognizing we were living a double life,” he says.

Certified sex therapist Steven DeLugach says up to six percent of people are sex addicts. He says the addiction can take many forms - like Internet pornography.

“People will lose six to eight hours at a time; they slip into a trance-like state,” DeLugach says.

Therapists say it becomes an addiction when people lose control over their behavior and still continue despite negative consequences like losing their job or their marriages. They also develop a tolerance and have stronger urges. Finally, they’ve tried but failed to quit over and over again.

“Sex is the behavior, but it’s really more about shame, pain, isolation, trauma and abuse,” says DeLugach.

Still, whether to call it sex addiction or not is hotly debated.

“Some people describe themselves as being invaded by the devil but that doesn’t make it true,” says Dr. Marty Klein, a licensed therapist.

In an interview with ABC News, Klein says the behavior isn’t just about sex.

“People should be treated for their obsessive-compulsive disorder,” he says. “Calling these problems addictions as a clinical diagnosis sends these people into a very narrow alley of treatment.”

Some therapists say sex addiction has never been formally recognized in the mental health community. But now, the American Psychiatric Association is developing criteria which could include hypersexual disorder in the 2013 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Some say it is a first step in a long awaited diagnosis that many have been struggling with for years.

“Once addicts, always addicts,” says the anonymous Portland man. “I’ll be a sex addict until the day I die. Whether I act on my addiction is another matter.”

The issue has divided therapists. Some say it’s really just a problem with behavior; it’s compulsive. Others say it comes down to biology where, much like drugs or alcohol, it can change a person’s body chemistry.