I hope and pray, there is something you can do to help us! I just dont know, what elso to do.
Here is very breif, what is going on. I have a congenital jaw deformity and a airway deformity. My doctors say its necessary and so does insurance. Insurance doesnt want to cover it. I am in a downward spriral, and my family is in crisis!
My husband wrote this: Hello, I am writing in support of my wonderful wife. She has been battling with her jaw pain for quite a while now. We have three amazing children and we are the quintessential average family. Our biggest problem now is that we are trying to work within the healthcare sytem that sucks. I have a good job that provides my family and I with great health insurance, however the insurance company does not want to pay for the surgery that she needs. And i make too much money to qualify for any type of financial aid. This is a great system we Americans have developed, I make too much money to qualify for financial aid to help me pay for a surgery that is medically necessary (that I cannot afford) for my wife's health and well being because my insurance won't pay, which part of this makes any sense. I work overtime every month, just to make ends meet. I am tired and exhausted....
My wife's health is currently in a downward spiral and she is suffering daily. She takes so many pain medications every day. If she doesn't take the pain medications then she lays in bed and cries all day. It is hard for her to take care of our children because she is either under the influence of narcotics, and or in chronic pain. She is unable to eat food, so she is living on ensure and fruit smoothies. She has lost so much weight i am concerned for her health. The pain medications make it so hard to even talk to her, she often forgets our conversations and she is so moody from the medication and the pain.
I am frustrated, I want my wife back, she has been consumed by all of this, and it is not fair. She deserves to be happy and not in pain, our children deserve to have their mother back.
Here is 2 recent blog entries from me:
Imagine this… Waking up every morning in extreme pain, exhausted and starving. Not being able to eat because the pain is so bad, and having to endure pain just to have a morning cup of coffee. Taking care of my three children, (Lydia 5),( Gracie 3) and (Ruby 1)....getting them fed, bathed, and dressed. Then drinking some insure, and taking my children up to bed with me, where I spend most of the day.
Lunch time means feeding the children lunch and me having a can of Ensure. Then I usually lay back down, and give the kids some activity to keep them occupied. I spend most of the day in bed until dinner time.
We feed the children dinner, while I snack on some yogurt or something more substantial based on my level of pain management.
We get the kids ready for bed, and then I am in bed right behind them. I spend most nights struggling with my bipap machine to get what rest I can between the alarm going off every 4 hours to wake and take my pain medication. In the last year I have not slept more than 2-3 hours consecutively. My 5 year old Lydia, constantly asks, why cant we have fun, like we used too? Why cant we do art projects together, go to the park together, why can't you be the fun mommy you use to be? Why are you in so much pain? Mommy why do you sleep all the time?
I am exhausted all the time, I wake the next morning to start it all over again. This is a snapshot of my life, I have been losing weight and sleep over the last year and I am unhealthy as a result of the chronic condition that I am living with. I watch my husband pull double and triple shift, just to keep up with all the medical bills. Lydia has issues with her bladder. She See's a specialist at Ohsu, for her bladder being less the half the size it should be. Ruby goes to Emanuel Hospital. She was born with club feet. She has had 7 cast changes and a surgery. She now has to be in a brace every night.
The other night my husband was talking with me. He started crying..... He said.. I just want my wife back! This saddend me so much! It just is all tearing me apart. I am not trying to tell a sob story... It is just so out of control......
I am just done with this all. I am so frustrated and tired! This is just so emotionally and physically exhausting. My pain seems to be getting worse. I am having such a hard time, getting it under control. I am taking my pain meds, its just not cutting the pain. The pain meds are starting to make my stomach feel very acidic.. I am so tired! At the same time, I cant sleep. I want the old me back........ I want to be the good mommy...... I want to be the good wife..... I am just exhausted!
My weight is dropping. I weighed my self today. I am 121 and 5 foot 9. Its just not fair! I am so tired of this.
James held me tonight, while I was crying. He said, We can get threw this! I just want this whole surgery to be past us. It has consumed so much. I just need to get threw this. I love my husband so much! I love my 3 girls so much, too! I just want this all to be behind us.... Being strong can be so hard, at times, when you feel so weak.
Today is such a hard day! I was about to go to the ER. I called my oral surgeon, bawling today, he wasn't in. I ended up going to my regular doctor. I am usually in a great amount of pain. Today my left side of my jaw is in massive pain. Ive taken everything that I possible can. My nurse said, It looks like my jaw area is a little swollen. I am currently icing it. My doctor is referring me to a pain management clinic now. The Norco (hydrocodone) isn't touching the pain. She gave me a choice of Methadone or Morphine sulfate. So we are now moving up to the morphine sulfate. It seems to be getting worse...... I am really discouraged. I am scared to death, on how I will be on the Morphine sulfate. Its already so hard to be a parent, on the meds I am currently on. Hows it going to be on the Morphine sulfate?
I also have a donation page that explains it all. No one has donated money. This surgery will probably total 100 grand. Around 30-35 grand is just the surgeons fee's, that doesnt include the hospital bill....atistesia..or..stay.. or doctor apt afterwards. We cant afford this! We are in so much crisis! The page is http://www.myspace.com/chrissys_cause
My insurance name is Providence insurance!
I am desperate! Please help me and my family!
Thank You and god bless you for taking the time to read my story!~ Chrissy