Unfair ...?

I have been at my job for 4 years now. There was a very unexpected opening for a promotion a few weeks ago.. To my surprise, the job was given to another employee who had been here 2 weeks! I was the clear candidtate for this job, as I had expressed times before that I would love to learn that job if there ever was a chance.. I was so upset, I felt so betrayed.

I am a person who avoids confrontation at all costs, I wanted so badly to ask WHY!?!?! What did I do wrong... But just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Finally, a week later, I was called into a meeting with my direct overhead boss and her exact words were, and I quote ;" Now, I know you feel very hurt and upset at the fact that you were passed up for this promotion. I wanted you to know that you were first up for the job, but after careful consideration, I came to the conclusion that you need to focus on your kids at home. I Don't feel that you could dedicate the hours needed " .

Needless to say, I am now left even more confused than before that conversation! So now what? Does that mean I can't go any further in my career until my kids are 18?!? This can't be okay! And to make it worse, in this economy I can't find another decent paying job, so I am stuck working for people who think I am incapable because I am a mother.

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kim says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 11:08 AM

I certainly think that it was inappropriate and unprofessional for your boss to even suggest such a thing let alone say it out loud. I would consider that discrimination. I would be Pizzed off and I would defiantly say something.

mh says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 11:11 AM

I most definitely think you should file a complaint. This is discrimination at its worst!~ If your company has an EEOC representative (or a union president) report it immediately! Or, report it to the EEOC> This is intolerable.

alsoamom says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 11:47 AM

Do you take a lot of time off to care for your kids? If you don't i would file a complaint, if you do, there may be something behind what your boss said.

annonymous333 says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 11:54 AM

Thank you everyone for your advice! No~ I rarely take any time off and can I file a complaint even though I still work for the company? Thanks

VPofHR says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 1:20 PM

Absolutely you can file a claim of discrimination even if you are still working for your current employer – it’s against the law!!! This is an egregious violation. It’s worth looking into.

annonymous333 says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 1:49 PM

The funny thing is, I told HR what was said to me and I was told that my manager is a great friend of hers and that no harm was meant.

oceanlvr says ... on Monday, Mar 29 at 4:47 PM

HR folks should not be "great friends" with other managers in the company. That crosses the line. You really need to file a formal complaint against your boss AND the HR person. Good luck!!!!

Sherbert says ... on Tuesday, Mar 30 at 3:49 AM

If its any consolation.... Sometimes in certain businesses,, a position is not able to be covered by other employees. An active participating parent is on call 24/7, it may be that they need someone who doesn't have other commitments.

Anonymous says ... on Tuesday, Mar 30 at 10:31 AM

This is discrimination after No matter how politely it is taken.

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